Fatal Flaw

How it began

I was adopted, by one of those nice, loving stereotypical families who were never able to have children. My mother’s name is Irina and my father’s name is Elazar, they are Russian but have lived in Canada since I met them. My name is Elena and I guess I tried to make myself believe that they were my parents. I don’t really think about being adopted or the day when I left the orphanage, it's all a blur.  I was only three, the only thing I remember clearly were the clothes on me, I was dressed in black from head to toe, a bit uncommon for a three year old, and a had gold necklace with an odd star shaped pendant that dangled loosely around my neck. I still own that chain; I keep it on my bed stand. I catch myself in the mirror; my long auburn hair reached almost half way down my back. My green eyes flecked with small flashes of yellow, I had never noticed so much detail before.

My life was completely and extremely ordinary; I attended high school like every other teenage girl in hopes of having a future. But everything seems different today, it was my 17th birthday and I think for the first time I can actually say I did feel differently on my birthday.   I didn’t have plans, it was almost midday and I was driving home in my white Toyota Rav from the library. The sun was unusually bright today. As I pulled into my driveway, I could tell my parents weren’t home which a surprise wasn’t, they rarely were. I stepped outside, I was overwhelmed with dizziness my head started to spin I thought maybe it was the sun and I rushed inside.

I went to my room and closed the blinds, I always felt better in darkness, and I could see better and I always just felt more in sync with the night then in day.  I could feel the warm air and rays of sun as they peeked through my blinds and touched my pail skin, I flinched as though they were going to hurt me, almost as a reflex but then I calmed down. My breathing began to slow, and I lay on my cushiony bed and decided to call Stephanie.  She was by far my best and one of my few friends. We met in high school, and it was a huge convenience that she lived a few houses down from me.

 As I was dialling the numbers on my phone something struck me hard, my head was in excruciating pain I couldn’t feel anything my breathing started to be unbearable, my chest felt like I had a 1000lb truck on it. I was suffocating and I didn’t know why? I fell off my bed and was gasping for air, I was convinced I was dying on my seventeenth birthday, it was all over my plans for a college, starting my own life it was done. All I could think about in this agonizing moment was my chain. Somehow my fingers found its way to my bed stand and slowly reached and gripped my chain. And then I gasped for air, as the oxygen began to flow again in its familiar path through my lungs, I wanted to cry. What in the world was that?

I put my chain around my neck and slowly stood up, and turned and saw myself in the mirror, my face cooled from redness and lack of the restraint of breath, but then as I looked down, something odd was peeking out of my right shoulder beneath my black t-shirt. I quickly pulled it off, almost in a rush and as I stood there in my bra, my jaw dropped, a bluish mark, almost tattoo like of the same odd star that was on my necklace. I couldn’t believe, I thought I was dreaming, did that really just happen?

Slowly I went to touch it but as my fingers brushed it, it ached my shoulder, almost felt like a fresh burn I quickly moved my hand away. I looked at my shoulder again and I wanted to forget it all. There was no logical explanation to what just happened, and if my parent’s saw, they would probably think it’s a tattoo, and would most definitely end my life there and then.  I went to the bathroom and tried to put some cold water on it, it soothed the ache; I then got out my foundation and tried to apply it over top to try and cover it a bit. It didn’t help much you could definitely tell there was something there, I hurried back to my room and put on a high neck t-shirt with covered it completely, I pulled my chain out and let it dangle over top of my shirt. I pulled my auburn hair in front as if to cover it more, even though I know that let alone with the shirt you couldn’t see it. Slowly I tried to calm myself, and call Stephanie. I hear her perky optimistic voice over the phone.