My Pranks

4th of July, 2005

I was 7 years old at the time. It was summer and I had summer school. But for little kids it was mostly fun activities. Around the third week of June, my friend Jake said that his family was gonna throw a party and my family was invited.

Three days after Jake invited me, I was given an assignment to find a photograph of something memorable. As soon as I got home, I instantly looked through the photo album. The more pages I flipped, the more recent the photos were.

At the time, one of the more recent photos caught my eye. It was a photo of the previous Halloween, where Jake's older cousin, Mary, took me trick or treating.

A word about Mary before we continue. She's 11 years older than I am. Today, she has short brown hair, emerald eyes, a button nose and a very friendly personality. Back then, she was different in two ways. Her brown hair was longer and her personality was not so friendly. She was a bully, especially among us younger kids. This was because she constantly used her size to her advantage. She was big for her age (Not fat, but tall and athletic, kinda muscular). She was the third of five, but she towered over her siblings.

Now you'd think that 19 year old her going trick or treating with eight year old me is a friendly gesture. It definitely seemed that way, but I couldn't have predicted what she really had in mind. Here's what actually happened that night.

Mom and Dad came to me a week earlier with disappointing news. They said that they had plans that night and I wasn't allowed to go trick or treating without an adult. Naturally, I asked Jake if I could tag along with him and his parents. He came to me the next day saying that Mary wanted to take me trick or treating. I was curious as to why.

Me,"Wait, why?"

Jake, "I dunno. She's never offered to go with me, but if I were you, I'd take the offer"

Me, "Why? She's a jerk"

Jake, "Yeah, but she knows the best houses to get get candy from. I've seen her come back with 3 bags full"

That's what swayed me into going with her. Of course, when you're eight, you're more gullible.

Halloween came and Mary was ready to go. She got extra bags with her and acted really friendly. We went around town and got so much candy. I began to feel comfortable around her.

After a couple of hours, we had 4 huge bags of candy. Mary was taking me home when she said that we had to stop by her house. When we did, she instantly grabbed me and began tying me up.

Then she got out a knife and said she was gonna turn me into zombie food. Being an 8 year old, I was scared out of my mind. I was begging, even crying for her to let me go.

She started to laugh at me and told me it was a prank. She showed me that the knife was rubber. I instantly got mad.

Me"THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Mary"But that is!"

She pointed down to my lap and I saw that I peed my pants. My face was flushed with anger and humiliation.

She merely howled with laughter. "I think you need a diaper"

She didn't put me in one. We walked back home. Luckily, she let me keep my candy. But I was still so embarrassed at the time.