With that achievement, hindi ko namamalayan na lumalaki na pala yung ulo ko. I had so much guts to boast it to the Lord and to my family.
I dishononored and disobeyed them. Pinaramdam ko noon sakanila na dapat ko na silang sagut-sagotin. Ewan ko nga kung ano yung nangyari sakin noon. Minumura ko sila patalikod.
One day pa nga sa sobrang pagsagot ko sa nanay ko, she hurted me pero sigaw pa din ako ng sigaw sakanya. Kinuha nya yung phone ko. Then sinabi ko sakanya na hindi ako papasok kinabukasan kapag hindi nya yon ibinigay sakin.
That's how bad my attitude was.
Biruin nyo yon, Christian na ako for 5 years, I did even encountered God and experience how God worked in my life. Pero based sa inakto ko, para akong hindi nakakakilala sa Diyos.
I even asked my teacher..
"Bakit po ganun? Tuwing lumalayo ako kay Lord, palagi na lang may nangyayaring hindi maganda?"
And I will never forget what he said. "Bakit ka ba kasi lumalayo? Hindi naman kailangang lumayo."
That simple words really touched me. He really hit the bull's eye.
And then unfortunately, may nangyari sa school namin especially sa section namin. Some 'possession' thing happened that time...
"Ikaw!" She pointed her forefinger to me.
"Ibang iba ka na daw! Ibang iba! Grabe ka na! Kung ano yung kinaayos mo dati, yun yung kinasama mo ngayon!" And then I cried. We all cried.
Actually Cha herself experienced that "possession" thing back when she was Grade 4 in SAF. And also her sister when she was in her First year high school. They grew up in our school. Kaya hindi na bago sakanya yun. Even yung kapatid ng principal namin. Nakita nya yun since dati pa lang. Every year yun nangyayari at hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero may napansin akong pattern dun. Lahat ng napopossess, tahimik. Yung tipong hindi naman outcast pero mysterious at tahimik.
Hindi lang halata kay Cha na tahimik sya dati.
That really hit my heart. And with that binalikan ko si Lord.
Nung time na yun, parang ginawa kong blackboard and Diyos. Gagawa at gagawa ako ng kasalanan, pag madumi na, magsosorry ako para maging malinis ang mga ginawa ko. Pag malinis na, dudumihan ko ulit.
I was too much at that time.. too much.
