Loyalty V/S Love Reloaded

Chapter 1 cont.

After a few months of living with Tyree I was real curious as to when we'd be getting our own place. "Ma how much longer we staying here?"

  "We are going get our own place real soon China he got a job for me and I'm starting tonight."

She stood behind me in the mirror while I brushed my hair into a ponytail for bed.

 "He got us a two bedroom in Englewood since I told him I'd rather be in the city. Tyree gon pay the rent until I can afford it on my own."

  J came back from brushing his teeth. "Mama where you goin all dressed up?"

I hadn't noticed until he said it but she was dressed as if she was going to a club. Mama had on some knee high red leather boots with a six inch heel, fishnet stockings, a black leather mini skirt, with a red shirt. Her hair was flowing in long curls framing her overly rosy cheeks, bright red lips and hazel eyes toned down slightly by the red eye makeup.

  "I start my new job tonight and we'll be moving next week."

If I had to pinpoint exactly when our life started to go downhill it would have to have been the moment she walked out the door to her new "job". About four in the morning mama came back to the room from her first day of work to check on us. I played sleep but looking at her I noticed there was a difference, her eyes were glossed over. After she closed the door and I listened to her heels click down the hall. I turned over to see if my brother was still up.

 "J you sleep?" "Nah China wassup?"

 "Did you see mama she looked weird?" "Go to bed C it's nothing."So I did.

  Every day after that mama had that same looked in her eyes. I'd never seen her like that and she didn't seem herself.

  Two weeks later we moved into our apartment. At first mama was going to work every night and then she started to bring her work home. With the prostituting she started hosting card parties. In the back corner was a table for Blackjacks. Over to the left close to the kitchen was the spades table, and in the middle a poker table. There were even a few guys huddled up in the corner shooting dice. Prencess made us stay in the room while men and women came in and out of the apartment. We often went to sleep listening to loud music, laughing, arguments over card games, and people having sex then slamming the door on their way out.

 Over the next four years mama's habits and looks got worse.

About three in the morning we heard a man yelling in the living room.

 "Aye, I think the bitch dead joe. Let's get the fuck outta here."

After we heard the front door squeak close we ran to check on her. She was lying on a deflated airbed in a dingy white bra that was falling off her shoulders. A used needle was sticking out of her left arm. J pulled the needle out as I shook her by the shoulders trying to wake her. He ran into the kitchen grabbed a cup of cold water and splashed it on her face.

 "Whaaa what the hell you do that for boy! What you tryna do fuck up my high?"

 "Damn ma I thought you were..." "Get back in that room and go to bed!"

J shook his head and starting walking towards the room with me following right behind him.

As I reached for the bedroom door mama called me back to the front.

  "Yea ma?"

  "China I know tomorrow is your fourteenth birthday. I ain't got no money for no gift but what I have to give you is better than anything I could have brought out some expensive ass store. I can give yo ass some useful advice."

 I scooted closer to make sure I didn't miss it. She sat up and looked me dead in the eyes with her blood shot, dilated pupils.

 "Take what I'm about to tell you and remember and use it. THERE IS ALWAYS COMPETITION." I looked confused prompting her to explain.

 "For these niggas out her, if you want a nigga to treat you right you gotta be the best at everything. You gotta know how to fuck and suck him right, how to count his money, feed him, support him, when to fall back, when to hold him down and you gotta stay pretty while you're doing it. Those looks won't always be enough. And stay out of his stash! You do as I say or you struggle for the rest of your life bitch. You won't be better than me if you don't do that shit."

 I went to bed with everything she said stuck in my head. I wasn't sure how to use it now, but that would words I would live by.