The Difference is...

Be Mine (part 2)

"Text From: James 12:22pm:
You made a mistake Tara. You will be mine. Sleep tight, beautiful."

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The days had gone by so fast that I hadn't noticed James didn't text or try to make contact with me in almost a week. Father had been sick lately and had been staying home from work. I had been taking care of him after work and visiting him in the mornings.

Today had been harder than any other. Dad came into work and tried to be strong although the rings around his eyes were evidence of his weakness. He refused to tell me what was wrong with him and that worried me. He could barely walk but hobbled along and could barely speak but choked to make out words. 

He slipped into his office as the phone rang loud enough to echo through shop and i could hear him speaking. 

"Mr. O'Connor, I don't think you understand. I want to leave this shop in the hands of my daughter, not in the hands of some stranger. There is no way I will sell my shop to anyone..."

The rest was a faint mumble and I couldn't hear much until the heat system kicked off and his voice became clear.

"I understand you want me to talk to her, James, but she needs time. You have to remember her past. She's not one to jump into things like that." 

With that said I opened his door and walked in. He had a look of terror as he realized I had heard all of what he said. 

"I have to go now, James. I'll see you soon." 

He hung up and left the room as if to act like I hadn't heard a thing. I followed him and spoke to him.

"I'm not one to jump into a relationship with anyone just yet. I'm still recovering and plan to keep myself happy before letting a man keep me happy. You should respect that, father." 

He hung his head and rubbed his forehead. 

"I understand, Tara, but you need to move on. Don't you think it's only fair to Brian that you do? He wouldn't want you to sit around a bathe in your own self pity. Here's a guy that wants to treat you like the queen you are and you push him away. Honey, Brian told you to keep going after he left and you want to make him happy, right? Don't you want to be happy again Tara?"

"You always bring him into this. Every time I go on a date with a guy, every time I meet a guy, you do this to me. You gave Brian everything. I'm not ready and that's final."

Before he could respond I was out of the room, the door swinging shut behind me.

He didn't understand. He never would. Brian was everything and more to me. I knew James was just what Brian wished I had, but I was scared. I was afraid to let my heart get attached to someone new, but it already had. James was so good to me. He was all I could have asked for. He was wonderful. I know it's time to move on but I don't think i'm ready.