The Arranged Marriage ☾ l.h. ☽

fourteen

Tina 

The L.A. sun felt amazing on my skin. Don't get me wrong, the sun in Sydney is great if you're used to living in a desert your entire life. In L.A. I don't feel like I'm dying.

But I was dying, because this was the first time I would see the boys since me and Luke broke up, and it was also the first time I would ever talk to Luke since the break up. There were so many thoughts going through my head. 

I sat on a bench on the airport outside LAX, scrolling through twitter. The hype about the breakup had calmed down but there were a lot of people who still followed me for the boys' benefit. I posted a photo of the ground, trying to be artsy, with the location as LAX, Los Angeles. Immediately tweets were flooding in, 

'OMG ARE YOU GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH LUKE?!'

'If I see you can I get a pic?'

'Are you seeing the boys?'

I smiled because I was seeing the boys, and I missed them to death. A black car pulled around the bend and three tall lanky boys came jumping out of the car to hug me. Ashton picked me up and spun me around, giggling madly. I smiled at his now short mane and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I got a group hug from Michael and Calum, Michael's blond hair reflecting in the sun. 

But then another boy hopped out of the car. His hair had grown longer and curlier and he didn't style it up anymore. His blue eyes were so prominent I could've spotted them a mile away. He looked at me and tried to smile but just looked down. 

Ashton grabbed my arm slightly and whispered in my ear, "He wanted to see you".

My hair covered my eyes, and I was too stunned to even brush it away. 

"Hi", I said quietly, my voice cracking.

"You're actually here, I thought they were playing a prank on me", Luke said. 

I noticed that my bags were gone and put into the back by Calum and Michael, the only surrounding comfort I had being Ashton. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It's...really really good", he mused. He stepped forward and so did I. We met in the middle, hugging softly. I remembered this feeling so well. It felt like home. 

---

"Oh shit guys, twitter is going crazy", Calum mumbled next to me. I peered at his phone and saw paparazzi pictures of Ashton hugging me, and then Luke. A lot of the tweets by fans were close to, 'Did Tina move on from Luke to Ashton?'. Along with tons of over-analyzing. 

'Look at her, she's so not over Luke'

'lISTEN THEY ARE HUGGING WAY DIFFERENT MMKAY' 

And so on. 

I looked behind me at Luke who was looking at his phone too. My phone buzzed and I looked down. 

Luke: Can we talk

Luke: In private I mean

Luke: and like in person

I sat for a second, paralyzed. What did he want to talk about? 

Me: Yeah, about what?

I waited for a second. 

Luke: We'll discuss it okay

---

I lied on the couch, with each of the boys in some angle or another. One hand was under my head, I was trying to sleep. The other was draped over the couch where Ashton was leaning against it, his hair brushing my skin softly. Everytime I tried to sleep, the thought about what Luke wanted to talk about jerked me awake again. 

I sat up to go into the bathroom. Ashton whined and grabbed my arm. "I will pee on the couch Ashton", he let go. 

I walked down the hall, and Luke followed. As I was about to walk into their bathroom that needed to be deep cleaned, Luke grabbed my wrist. 

"Bea", he said quietly. I turned and he took my hand. "Is there something going on between you and Ashton?"

"No", it was the truth. "Why do you care?"

"I-"

"Aren't you with that girl anyway?"

"Doesn't mean I like her you know it's just for publicity"

"So you only liked me for publicity, huh?"

Lukes' hand dropped and I closed the door on him. I opened the large window that resided in the bathroom and climbed out. I walked around their new L.A. home, and found a pool in the yard. I caught a russian swing and lied on it, inhaling the air and hearing the birds chirp in the summer air. I drifted off finally, and finally felt at peace for the first time in 24 hours, because I was alone. 

--

I woke up and it was nighttime. My phone screen shined bright. 

11:26 PM

Stiles: did you land okay?

Raven: hoe wtf answer me are u with the boys or nah

Raven: Twitter says yes 

Ashton: Lukes gone, we've gone out to find him

Ashton: The back door is unlocked if you need to get inside

Ashton: also thanks for forgetting to UNLOCK THE BATHROOM DOOR 

Ashton: Not everyone can fit through that damn window (me) 

I smiled and decided to get up from the swing. The pool lights were on and I thought about almost just jumping into it and floating around for a while. So I did. I put my phone on the lawn chair and stripped down to my tank top and underwear. I took a running start and just jumped in. The water was cold but I loved it. I floated to the top and wiped the water off my face, thankful that I wasn't wearing makeup. 

I floated onto my back and ignored my phone ringing. Being back in L.A. just made me feel so much more at peace. I could feel myself smiling and I thought about the boys, and how happy they made me. Luke may have been angry with me, and me at him but he's not stupid. I'm not going to let him ruin me. 

-

@ myself where the hell have u been???

well the simplest answer I can give yall is that I had no motivation for the past damn YEAR

but this is short and not edited but ya know