Trista

She was sitting on the bench alone. She felt as if she was the only person on the planet, even though she could hear the children laughing and adults talking. She felt like she was surrounded by darkness, even though it was one in the afternoon. Never had she felt so alone. The voices were telling her things that made her feel crazy.

"You'll never amount to anything." 

"No one will ever love you."

"You are alone, no one cares for you."

"End it."

"End it now."

She was used to these voices and for as long as she could remember she had been ignoring the devastating truths that they spoke. She would wake up every morning and think of all that had gone wrong in her life. Then she would shower so that the water would hide her tears. 

Never had she ever felt loved. Never had she ever had a friend that hadn't left her in some way. Everyone that should care for her ignored her or sent cold words her way. Anyone that showed interest was pushed away because the voices told her that they were using her. 

The day was ending. The sun was going down and the moon and stars were coming up. It was getting colder outside, but she felt nothing, she was numb.

People stared at her as they passed. Stared at the young woman that sat there day after day looking at something that no one else could see. They wondered what she had been through that made her look so broken. No one spoke to her, but she was known to the locals as Trista, which means sorrowful in Latin. 

People painted her, wrote about her, and used her as a muse. She was famous in the local community.

The park was the place where she went to try to get away. But she was in to deep. The beautiful young woman was way to far gone to notice the attention that she got. She didn't know that people had made up stories about her past to try to understand why she was so sad.

Tourists thought that she was a statue. The girl never moved. She looked so dead to the world, but no one knew just how right that was. She was dead on the inside. No happy thoughts ever went through her head.

She felt isolated from the real world. As if she was just a ghost, drifting. The darkness was her only companion along with the voices. 

At night she felt the hands pulling her deeper and heard the voices telling her the truths she didn't want to hear. She couldn't get rid of them, no matter how hard she tried. Alcohol didn't work. Drugs made it worse. Music was the only thing that gave her any feeling. Writing made her feel something. 

She would spend the hours that she wasn't at the park writing. She didn't sleep unless she dropped from exhaustion. The nightmares made everything worse. So she wrote everything she was feeling down. If what she wrote was read by anyone, they would know just how bad her thoughts were. They would know just how broken the girl was. 

One day the voices are yelling. They won't shut up. They tell her that her life is coming to a close. She knows that it is true because she can no longer live in a world that didn't want her there. So she writes her goodbye. It has no one to go to, but she feels the need to write one last time. 

She goes to the place that used to mean happiness, the place where her childhood was spent. The cliffs. 

The young woman sits on the edge for hours, just singing. She wants to feel something, anything, before it all ends. 

The sun is going down, the stars and moon are coming up. Its time. She stands. She prepares for it all to be over. For once she feels something that might have been the closest she had ever been to happiness. She was ready. No more tears, no more voices, no more invisible hands pulling her into the darkness. She looks at the stars and says goodbye. 

When the darkness is caving

And you feel like giving in

Just remember

I'll always remain with you

I'm just giving up, I'm just giving up

I am giving in, I am giving in

I can't feel the strength, I can't feel the strength

I can see the light, I can see the light

Cause the darkness is caving

And I felt like giving in

And I couldn't remember

The point of going on

You weren't there

When I needed you the most

So I put up my white flag and said

I am giving up, I am giving up

I am giving in, I am giving in

I have no more strength, I have no more strength

I wanna see the light, I wanna see the light

I have given up, I have given up

You were never there, you were never there

So I'll take this jump, so I'll take this jump

Into the arms of my savior,

The mender of the broken

The only one there

When you need it the most

I am at the top, I am at the top

I can see the end, I can see the end

This is where it stops, this is where it stops

I'm surrounded by the light, surrounded by the light

I took the leap, I took the leap

Into the arms of my savior, 

The mender of the broken

The only one left 

When the rest have fell behind

The only one to welcome you 

When you step into the light

I have given up, I have given up

I had no more strength, I had no more strength

You taught me how to fly, taught me how to fly

So I took the jump, so I took the jump