i lied.

goodbye.

i break down every now and then. i dont want to. i dont choose to. i just do. those times ive been so tempted to wanna kill myself were also the times i couldnt. i had the chance but each time i wanted to i just couldnt. those times i was tempted to cut really deep were also the times i could ; but i just never really felt it. i wanted to. i had all the means to... i could... and i did... but the only thing stopping me was the scars i saw before i cut. ive had those moments where i broke down in the bathroom and just wanted to choke myself to death. i couldve but i just cried. i dont really cry alot though. i just cry in certain special occasions where i cant take it anymore. im a fool for even believing i had a chance of living happily. but those times where i was in the mood to kill myself , all i did was watch movies. whilst i watch the movie suddenly it gets cold. i get in my blanket and as we watched a movie together i felt your cold embrace againts my skin. your cold breath on my cheeks. the warmth was reaplaced with cold but it didnt matter. youre in my arms now. i wanna die ; so i could be with you. in this ugly society i cant even breath. so might aswell die in it. i felt a bit sleepy once you curled me up in my own pool of misery. i closed the laptop and i fixed myself. i felt your cold but weightless clutch on my body as if you were still alive. i felt the world just died for a minute or two. it was 5 in the morning and i didnt realise it. i could tell by the color of the sky. a bright blue with a tint of lavender from the night sky. youre my only hope of dieng. yet you want me to stay alive. i wanna be with you. but youre telling me to stay where it could only get worse. the breakdowns i had... the tears i shed... you wiped them off and gave me breathe. not warm. but cold. your dead lungs could only provide that for me. goodbye. im leaving this world. ill not be successful but i never asked for successful.

i just
wanna
die.

my story isnt over ;
it never ends.
ill be in neverland.
captain hook would be the judge of me.
after all hes lived for.
peterpans my companion that would guide me.
he always ripped those tears away from my skull.
hes friends with mermaids that swim in tears.
goodnight tinkerbell.
goodbye captain hook.
goodluck wendy.