I flicked the cigarette and watched the ashes crumble and fall into the water half of my body was submersed in. The ashes floated over the waves my body made from moving, causing the water to shift around me. The lights were off and the only light that filled the bathroom was from the large window over the tub. The moon sang poems to me as she shed light on my chest and the surface of the water. She spoke in riddles and gently carressed the scars on my arms. She moaned a deep sigh of regret and dissatisfaction. I took a long drag of the cigarette, looked at it, and laid the still burning end on my wrist.
I woke up the next day drowsy and already a tad pissed off. I sat up and looked to my left to see excess mascara and eyeliner painting a beautiful picture of bad dreams on my pillow. My wrist still ached with a dull burn and the scab had been forming only to be ripped away by sleep. I got up and went to the bathroom to grab a band-aid when I saw the note Mom left.
"Went into work early! Don't forget I'm getting off late again tonight! Grab some chinese for dinner. Love you! Xoxo Mom"
I ripped off the sticky note from the mirror and threw it away. Working late my ass. I knew she was cheaing on Frank from day one. She only married him to feel safe, to save someone who thought themselves to be too unworthy. Their fighting seeped through the walls and echoed late into the night where I could hear it in my sleep.
After securing the band-aid, I started the shower. When it was warm enough I undressed and got in. The hot water fell over me as I turned my face into the stream. The water felt like God, washing away everything to become clean again.Except I wasn't clean. There was a part of me that could never be pure again, a itch I could never scratch.
