Infinities

• Chapter F O U R •

"I'm finding ways to articulate the feeling I'm going through, I just can't say I don't love you."

– Die For You, The Weeknd. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He grabs her around the waist with trembling fingers. He is gentle, scared of hurting her. She laughs, the melody of a song he could listen to for the rest of his life.

"You know I'm not going to break, right? I'm not as delicate as you think I am."

"I still feel like I'm going to break you. I can't believe I'm doing this, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be-"

She puts a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"Just shut up and kiss me," she breathes, and he did.

And after moments of laying together in silence they decided to get to know each other once again. Maybe it would give them a fresh start. Maybe it would give them the pathway to begin healing, who really knew? The one thing the both of them knew was that they had to try, at least get one step closer to being happy.

"If you could have only been able to smell one thing in your whole life, what would it be?" he asks, gazing into her eyes curiously.

"Cinnamon," she pauses, afraid she'll say too much.

"I have always loved the scent of cinnamon."

But what he doesn't know is that she's always loathed the smell of cinnamon, but with another man on a drunken night filled with a cherry eating competition, where the city lights were shining behind them, that night each time he'd kissed her she could smell it in his embrace.

She'd never had a favorite scent, but before she can speak, she gets lost in a memory from that night. She remembers him, covered in snow with his teeth chattering, but still smiling as he pelted her with a snowball, even when leaning against the wall of his house, with one foot against the wall and the other touching the ground; his natural stance. She remembers the warmth of his arms around her. But most of all, she can remember the scent of cinnamon even when he was smoking his cigarette.

~*~*~*~*~

{THE NEXT DAY}

"Are you happy?" Tyler couldn't help but ask Chase because it was something he'd been wondering.

He turned his head to Tyler, paused, thought it over for a moment. He chose his words carefully.

"I'm content. I'm not completely happy, I think there's something missing. but I am pretty damn close. And pretty damn close is good enough for now." and with that he looked away and a contended shine appeared in his eyes.

Tyler watched Chase, maybe he didn't realise it but his eyes always followed Evelyn, in any simple thing she'd do. Maybe he didn't realise that she changed him. That she changed the books he read, the music he listened to. She changed the way he walked and the way he talked. She changed the way he looked at the world. The night sky, the moon, and every star. She changed the way his heart could feel. She showed him a love so deep he never thought even existed. She's unattainable to him right now, but the love isn't. She changed him, in to the person he's always had the potential of being.

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes," he replies. He takes a long drag of his cigarette and continues.

"Smoking is dangerous you know, leads to cancer." spoke Tyler.