I Promise

Chapter 8

I sit in the small room, starting blankly at the TV. The news is on, but nobody is really watching it except for maybe the old man across from me. It's only me, him and some girl a little older than me huddling in a corner. By the ring on her finger I can tell she's married, and by the expression on her face I can tell it might be her husband in the hospital.

            I lean my head against the green wall and shut my eyes. I've been here for hours and there is still no word on Kay. After she fainted in the bathroom I bolted in, not caring who saw me, and picked her up. Her body was cold and pale, her lips lost all color. I hugged her tightly to my chest as I awaited the paramedics outside.

            I shudder at the memory and open my eyes abruptly. I sigh heavily and stand up, making my way to the back of the room. I fish a few quarters out of my pocket and stuff them in the machine, punching on the key pad until a bag of Doritos hits the bottom. I turn around a jump a little when the girl is right behind me.

            “Sorry, you kinda scared me.” I admit as I rub the back of my neck. Her blue eyes are red and puffy from crying. Her blonde hair is up in a messy bun on the top of her head. If this were any other day, and I were with any other girl, I would hit on her. But the thought of Kay lying in a hospital bed sends the notion out of my mind.

            She laughs slightly.“I guess I probably do look scary.” I nod sternly and walk past her, not really sure what to say. In the three hours that I have been here, she hasn't talked at all. I hear her start to cry again and I feel bad. I take a seat at the table next to the vending machines and do the unthinkable: I ask if she is okay.

            She collapses in the chair across from me and buries her face in her hands. “Mark, my husband, was in a car wreck a few hours ago,” she explains. “I-I don't know if he's okay.” My heart cracks for a split second when realize I know what she is going through.

            “My girlfriend Kay collapsed at a restaurant. I don't know what's wrong with her.” She looks up and grasps my hand in hers. By the look in her eyes I know she's trying to tell me everything will be okay. But for some reason, as much as I want to believe her, I don't. I want to accept the notion that Kay could be fine, that nothing could be wrong with her and we could go back to the way things were. But deep down I know that's not true. 

            “Reese Fetcher?” A strong voice calls my name. I stand up abruptly, sending my bag of Doritos to the floor. I turn to face a middle aged man in a white lab coat. His scrubs are a pale green and a clipboard resides in his hand.

            “T-that's me,” I stutter as I make my way over to him. “How is Kay? Is she alright?” The doctor's eyes harbor a secret, one I already know he doesn't want to share.

            “You can see her now,” he replies. He motions for me to follow him out of the room and down the empty hall. He stops in front of a room at the end of the corridor. He nods his head, signaling me to go in. I take a deep breath and open the door, scared of what I might find.

            I am faced with the image of Kay laying helplessly in a hospital bed. Her skin is pale and her lips are a slight purple. When she notices me she smiles softly, her eyes lighting up. For a moment my heart hurts. I don't want to see her like this.

            I hurry to her side and sit down in an empty padded chair next to her bed. “Oh Kay, are you alright?” My words cause something in her to hurt, and her eyes weld with tears. She doesn't speak like I anticipate her to. Instead she stares out the window into the black of the night, her eyes resting on the twinkling stars in the sky.

            Several moments pass before she parts her lips to speak. “I love looking at the stars,” she mumbles, “they are so magnificent. Everything about them is wondrous.” I grab her hand and run my fingers along the back of it, tracing circles into her skin. “You want to know the best part?” She asks, tearing her eyes from the window to look into mine. “I believe that when you die and go to heaven, a twinkling star will appear in your absence.” The way she says it, how she breaks off at the end as if it's something to look forward to, sends chills down my spine.

            “Kay, will you tell me what's wrong?” I whisper softly. She bites her lips nervously as she tightens her grip on my hand. It's as if she's holding on for dear life.

            Suddenly she opens her mouth and the words come out rushed and strained. “I have stage three leukemia.” For one second I swear my heart literally stops beating. In this moment I want her to take it all back. I want the words to leave my ears and vanish from existence.

            “No,” I mumble, falling to the floor. “No,” I whisper, banging my fists against the tile. “No!” I shout as a single tear falls down my cheek. I look up at Kay as my heart breaks. I want to ask her how this could happen. I want to know why bad things happen to good people. I want to talk, but the words can't climb over the lump in my throat. So instead when she reaches out to me, I stand up. When she tells me to lay by her, I do. And when she falls into my arms, I catch her and hold her close to my chest.

            We lay in silence for what seems like forever before Kay gets the courage to talk. “Reese?” She whispers.

            “Yes baby?” I ask, kissing her forehead. I try to hide the fact that I'm crying, willing my body not to convulse.

            “Promise me you won't leave me, no matter how bad it gets.” Her voice is soft and muted by tears. I hold her closer, my arms enclosing her like armor.

            I process for a moment, the words stuck in my throat. For some reason, I don't know what to say. For the first time since I met her in September, the words “I promise” don't seem right.

            Regardless of my doubt, I open my mouth and try again. “I promise, Kay.” The words are a whisper and for a moment I don't think she hears me. Not until she presses her lips firmly to mine and intertwines her fingers in my hair. For a moment I forget everything. As her hands trail down my body, I forget about how weak she is. As I pull up her gown, I forget the tears staining her face. As she presses herself into me, I forget about the cancer.            But it all ends sooner than it began, and Kay is back to laying beside me. Her hand grips mine tightly as she lets out a yawn, the intense make-out session obviously tiring her.

            “You need some rest,” I say, standing up. I kiss her forehead lightly as she reaches out to me.

            “I don't want you to go,” she breathes as her eyes begin to close.

            “I'm not leaving you, Kay. I promised didn't I?” She nods slightly before she drifts into a deep sleep, finally peaceful.