Addicted

Prologue

'Allowsfield Hospital 20th March 2013'

The old rubbery floor creaked beneath my feet as I took cautious steps towards room 308 of the cancer unit. Oli's limp body occupied the white hospital bed in the cold room, I walked towards him, knowing he was asleep but wanting to be around him either way. As I crept closer I noticed he was squeezing his eyes shut tight, he wasn't asleep; he was stopping himself from crying out in pain.

I gently griped his cold hand in my warm one, producing a small smile to appear on Oli's face as his eyes fluttered open. Oli had been sick like this for months now and was still too stubborn to call for help when he needed it.

"Stop" Oli said in a harsh tone as I reached for the button above his bed to call for help as I knew the persistent boy wouldn't. "Just wait a second" his tone changed to a much nicer one once my hand had moved away from the button. He continued, "I want five minutes with you in this bed before you call for a doctor and have to leave again".

I didn't bother with any form of protest as I kicked my sneakers off and carefully maneuvered my body onto the small bed without hurting Oli. I looked up as he stared deeply into my eyes and slowly leant down for a gentle kiss. There was limited strength on his part, which made me long for our old kisses, full of power and left me weak and wanting more. I put my arm around his waist, trying to deepen the kiss anymore that he could, but he was tired and had no energy, I pulled away and kissed him once more softly on the lips before snuggling into his chest for a cuddle.

"How are you feeling?" I asked after almost having forgotten the fact that he was in pain less than five minutes ago when I walked in the room.

"I'm fine" Oli spoke with sincerity but I could never tell unless I looked at him. I pulled away slightly from our cuddle to look at him. He had a forced smile etched across his face for my benefit. He was amazing at faking a smile, he had been doing it for so long, and he could make each facial feature look as if everything was perfectly fine, his eyes could glisten and his dimples could make him look like he had never been in pain. He was almost good enough to get away with it, but I had known him for too long not to know what his real smile was like and how happy his entire energy was when he was really smiling, I just always knew if he wasn't happy.

"Liar" I whispered right before pressing the button inches above his head to call for help. I pecked him once more on the lips before getting out of the bed so no nurse or doctor had to witness us. He had a frown on his face to let me know he wasn't happy with the decision to call for help but reached out for my hand all the same.

I sat at the chair beside his bed with his hand in mine as the nurse came in to inspect him. I paid no attention to anything except for Oli until I noticed multiple people in the room with us.

"I'm sorry darling but you'll have to leave" a nurse spoke, trying to usher me out of the room. Oli's bed was crowded with doctors, many saying similar things to the nurse, trying to get me out of the room. I was confused, Oli always had check-ups while I was in the room, I calmed him down, why was this different.

I did as the nurse asked, squeezing Oli's hand one last time before letting go and walking out of the room. The door slammed behind me as I was left in an open hallway with no one in sight. I ran to the closest information desk, hoping someone could tell me what is happening to Oli before my thoughts got the better of me. However once there no one had any information and could only offer me a seat at the nearest waiting room. I wondered off in confusion to the glass room filled with people sitting around. There were multiple families huddled together crying and people twiddling their thumbs in angst, but I could only feel sorry for myself, as I knew I had just spent my last moments with Oli, and as much as I didn't want those thoughts crowding my brain I knew it was the end.

Oli had been the most important person in my life; he had been the most incredible boyfriend over the past two years and introduced me to everything I loved. He could make the most boring or tormenting moment great, if he was here in the waiting room I would be fine no matter the circumstances and who I was waiting to hear about. He would buy me tickets to my favourite rock concerts and festivals so he knew I'd get to experience it all with him. If I lose him, I lose everything. I closed my eyes, unable to think of this anymore and just waited to hear about Oli.

"Darling, are you here for Oliver Monroe?" a doctor asked, gently shaking me awake. I nodded my head as I tried to sit up more in my chair. "I'm very sorry to inform you" he started but I was unable to hear anything else being said. Tears fell down my face in streaks as I knew I would never see Oli again. "Miss, miss" I looked back up at him, "is anyone else here for Oliver?" I knew he wanted to know about his parents but I had no idea where they were. They were paying the hospital bills but probably weren't even in the country, they weren't fond of Oli and had little to do with his life. My mum or Bailey usually come to see Oli but Bailey has just moved across the country for University and I told mum I'd meet her later because I wanted to be alone with Oli today.

"No" I said, almost inaudibly. The doctor left, I slumped in the chair to let the news settle in, I was never going to spend another moment with Oli.