Share Your Song

One

He stared at me from the landing at the top of the staircase. Blushing, I stroked my thumb out of habit. After years of being together he still makes me flustered. He smiled at my awkwardness and made his way towards me. Each step he takes, the faster my heart beats. Everything I've ever wanted is finally falling into place.

"I can never tell if you're pretending or not" he chuckled, making me fall in love with him all over again.

"Hmm?"  I've never been good at understanding his humour, but I'm getting better at it.

"Are you pretending to be awkward or do you seriously still walk on eggshells around me?" He smiled as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in for a hug. His warm embrace relaxes me and my heart rate steadies.

"Come on" he whispered "I know what'll make you feel better"

He wraps his fingers around my hand and guides me into the next room. It's the study. My favourite room in the house. The blueprint wallpaper, an antique desk with a swivel chair. Vintage posters on the oak wall and a guitar fixed to the wall. It's always been serene and tranquil in here. He sits me down in the desk chair and turns to pick his guitar out of its cradle. The guitar was always something I've admired about him. He plays with so much passion and perfection that it makes me feel special when he plays it just for me.

"You in the mood for a little session?" He asks, gently strumming the strings.

"Oh god, no I don't think...."

"Chris" he interrupted. "Relax, you can do this"

He started strumming faster and heavier. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. I've never felt comfortable singing in front of people and I could never find the confidence to overcome the anxiety.

"Well you only need the light when it's burning low...." I was off to a shaky start. He always picked this song to calm me down. It was the first song he played in front of me.

"Only miss the sun when it starts to snow. Only know you love her when you let her go."

He looked up at me and slightly grinned. His usual perfect hair had fallen flat onto his face. Just like it was when we first met.  He looked down at his instrument and continued playing.

"Only know you've been high when your feeling low. Only hate the road when you're missing home."

I gazed in his direction, watching his face as he concentrated. How did I get lucky enough to spend my life with him?

"Only know you love her when you let her go.... And you let her go"

As the instrumental started, everything started to blur. The colour started seeping from the walls, the light started to fade and Alex's voice was silenced. I blinked twice and slowly woke up to my alarm. It was time to get up for school but all I wanted was to go back to bed and finish my dream.

"Maybe tonight.." I muttered as I crawled out of bed.

And so began my morning routine. I put on music and headed for the bathroom to wash up.

I've never been the realistic type. Any decision I make is purely based on 'what if ' or 'It's worth a try'
My dreams also have a tendency to influence the way I see realty. So today if I see Nick who knows what I'll do? I could start singing or unintentionally stare at him until he gets creeped out.

I scoffed down my breakfast, brushed my teeth and headed out the door.

***

Walking from the bus bay to the doors, I reluctantly entered the school. I winced slightly as I went in. Hundreds of conversations reaching my ears making me feel disorientated.

"Keep it together" I thought to myself.

I made my way over to the usual table where some of my friends sat. I said hey and made imbecilic conversation just to pass the time and try to decipher between dreams and reality. As everyone chattered about their lives I stared aimlessly into the distance. I wasn't looking at anything in particular yet there was something on my mind. I had no clue what it was but I just couldn't shake it. 

I turned back to the conversation so it looked like I was paying attention. One of my many talents.

The bell rang so we all made our way to the lockers. Strolling down the hallway, a group of students came from around the corner. I put my head down to avoid confrontation and conversation but I bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry" I said looking up.

I was greeted by the widest smile.

"No bother" Nick said.

My breathing hitched and I tensed up. Anything he says or does just makes me an awkward, uncomfortable mess.

I turned my head and continued walking, thinking of how much of an idiot I was.