Dancing was a part of my life. I got a job because of it, I met the love of my life because of it. Just how can I not be thankful to dancing?
The way she moved was very enthralling. Her graceful movement made things looked elegant. And here I am, captivated by her.
I was a dancing teacher of her's. I have been teaching her for years already. And I never intended to stop. But, I guessed fate wanted me to.
And so, I was sitting on my lonely bed, which was placed between these white walls. The smell of hygene and acids wouldn't leave my nose. And the worst part is that I couldn't do anything at all. Just waiting all day, for somebody to come and release me from this beautiful prison.
My eyes was on her the moment she walked in. With her slim body wrapped with a dress.
I shared a few minutes with her talking about the past. She asked me about how my limbs were disabled but I knew nothing.
She asked me whether I will still be her dancing teacher or not. I spent a few silent moments to think about it, which resulted in no answer.
She suddenly bursted into tears which I wanted to wipe but I couldn't. My arm wouldn't respond. I tried talking to her but she stood up.
She apologised for she have disturbed me and quickly went out. I tried to stop her with my trembling voice but she wouldn't come back.
I should've answered her that I was dying. I wanted to spend time with her, but I don't want to hurt her. I asked one of the nurses to record myself talking which was dedicated to her in case she won't come back before I die.
"Dear my dearest student, if you're listening to my voice saying this, I beg you to listen until I finish. I probably am dead already by the time you were given this video. I apologise that I didn't answer you that time when you asked me whether I will still be your dancing teacher or not. I never intended to keep the fact that I would die soon. I know I've never returned this words to you but I'm sure you knew how I feel towards you. Even though I never stated it clearly, I love you. There I said it, I love you. I've always wanted to say these words but I never got the chance to. I was afraid. Please forgive me for this. I enjoyed your presence even though I didn't look really happy when you dance in front of me. I was happy, but I wanted to conceal these feelings because I don't want to give you hope which will destroy you later on. I wish we could spend more time together. But for now, I will not be selfish. I wish for your happiness. I wish for you to find your significant other, which sadly not me, and I give you all of my support for you to become a dancer. Make me proud. Don't throw away everything just because of me. Don't kill yourself because of me. Don't do anything risky. I promise, we will meet again. So I wish for you not to forget my existence. Because someday, I'm gonna find a way to see you, meet you, know you, love you and start over anew with you. But don't let my wish bother your sole ones. Just enjoy your life fully. See you again, in the after life. "
Beep... Beep... I was not in my body anymore the moment I finished my speech to the recording camera. Gosh.. I didn't even have the chance to thank the nurse properly. I haven't said goodbye yet to the others. I haven't thank God for this life.
Urgh.. Well whatever. I guess I'll be the bystander. Watching over her.
She came on my funeral as my parents gave the video to her. She was crying. How I wanted to embrace her and tell her that I'm here.
She cried as someone soothed her. I'm guessing that he'd be the next love of her life and all that I can do was just to smile.
Sure watching her with another person hurts but I'm satisfied that she followed my words and be happy.
She became a successful dancer and I was proud of her. And the day everyone in the world knew her name, she stood in front of my grave saying, "Are you happy up there? Are you proud of me? Even though I'm happy, I won't forget you and I will always love you. Take note of that teach," she said as her tears rolled down.
"Cause as long as you're happy, I'll be happy too."
