Perfect (girlxtransboy)

Chapter 1

   As I walk down the hall, books pressed to my chest, I suddenly feel hands... Pushing me into lockers, into other pushers. These hands belong to old friends, ones I gave my life, money and soul to. So now,when this is what I get repaid with, I realize how stupid I have been to give up everything to them. They've stolen my heart and all my things, because of how my soul was so weak. I have a guard now, a wall, protecting my weak and broken heart.

     "Please! Just let me go to class!" I tried to stay firm, although my voice was cracking.

"Ha, you wish, you little fatso." Tears well up in my eyes as my ex-girlfriend, Trix, snarls. She didn't just say those words, she flung them at me.

     Just then, the bell emits a scream, warning us to get to class, and a fist smashes into my face. I think it busted a bruise or something in my face. I slump to the ground, tears stinging my busted lip. The kids, satisfied, scatter. Giggles can be heard, following them down the hall. No one stopped to say anything to me, but just walked past me.

     'Wow, smooth guys...' I thought to myself, rolling my eyes and wincing. 'Shit, that hurt!'

     "Are you okay?" comes a rough female voice, and as I look up, a very butch-looking female with a boy cut hair style, comes into view. She was wearing either a binder or a lot of tank tops, obviously to hide her breasts. She was very attractive. But I couldn't think or concentrate on how attractive she was.

      'I'm in pain here!' I think to myself. "Help me?" I ask the unknown female, wincing and gasping at the sudden pain in my lip. 

      She nods, "Yeah, sure, little cutie." And with that, she hoists me up, with almost no effort at all. I blush some, staggering a few steps, realizing what just happened. I right my self, almost fall in the process of picking up my books, and turn to the still unfamiliar girl, and try to smile. It comes out as a cringe. 

      "Thank you..." I murmur softly. At that moment, I turn, and stumble down the hall to my 5th hour class period.

                                                                                    *************

      Walking home. A way to clear my head. I don't know what it is about it, but it's the cold to my heated life. 

       My feet, heavy, touches down on pavement, with what feels like a thud. My body feels pain. Bruises are forming where hands have been. Hands that were not my own. I make a split second decision, making a sudden turn to the street adjacent to my own, and jog down the street, towards the park. By hiding my book bag in a crevice of a tree trunk, but keeping my sling purse , I am able to run faster. 

      Once I reach the park, I sigh, walking over to my little-but-big nook, where I hang out, and just be myself. I love to think, and laugh, and cry here, in my nook. Today though, I'm going to be dying in my wonderful nook.

      As I stagger over a rock, to my nook, I feel around in my purse, to find my retainer case, a few pill bottles, and my water bottle.

       The retainer case holds my erasers, razors, and my lighter. I smile softly and grab the sharpest-looking razor. At once, the razor is at my wrist, then vertically, it slides up my forearm, with most of the pressure I could give it. A deep, very deep slice is created, spreading a numbness throughout my arm. I   perk up, and slide the razor down my fore arm, parallelto the first cut.

        Then I open my retainer case and grab the next sharpest razor, closing the retainer case and setting it down beside me. I push the razor into the backside of my hand. I create four, very deep, very muscly-looking crevices in my hand before feeling woozy, and the others, the first few cuts were starting to bleed. I nod, lamely as my knees buckle up from underneath of me, weak. I collapse into a crying pile of fat, when I remember my pills, so I unscrew the bottles and dump them all in my mouth, swallowed while chasing them down with water. I was smiling and feeling death approaching when all of a sudden I see a blurry figure on a blurry bike racing down the path toward me.