Allegiant's "Actual" Ending

Chapter 59: Tris

I hear the fast paced, rhythmic pounding of my feet on the metal steps contrasting with the pace of my friends. My breathing evens out as I reach the second level. It reminds me of walking up the stairs of the Hub with the Abnegation, the unity, the peaceful rhythm, the homogeneity I felt. That thought wakes another one: a memory of that first run with the Dauntless down those same stairs. I recall my thoughts from that moment. It is not a selfless act for the Dauntless to take the stairs; it is a wild act. It was the first moment I was truly free.

Tobias jogs next to me, strengthening me like he did on that dark walk to Amity headquarters. I remember Caleb behind me, with silent tears, and Peter panting, cradling his arm, somewhere to the left.

I remember my thoughts heading here. I dwelt on the dreams from my comatose state and all the moments leading up to it. The doctors told me that at first I couldn't even breath or keep my heart beating on my own. The death serum comes to mind, but it never really hit me that I survived it. I survived the death serum.

I stop running for a second Tobias stops with me and looks at me, his eyebrows drawn. Christina and Zeke's footfalls slow too.

"I guess I just don't die easily, do I." I say Tobias' eyebrows shoot up and I laugh.

"Well, that doesn't mean I can't beat you," Zeke says and races up the flight that separates us. But before he could push past Tobias and I, I take off, twice as fast as before.

I don't focus on how high I go, or where everyone else is. I don't think about anything. I'm leaving it behind.

But as I reach the door, I realize that I don't want to leave it behind.

Tobias is a few steps behind me, and we are both panting.

"Ready to move on?" He asks.

"No." Of course he understands why immediately.

"Tris, moving on just means we leave the memories where they belong: behind us. But that doesn't mean we can't look back."

I like that idea better. I want to be able to look back.

He smiles at me, a gesture I return before turning to the stairs again as I hear Zeke approach.

"You get all cocky about winning... and then you place third," I say.

"You could let someone else win for a change ya know."

"Hey, the proud are to be demolished," I reply, twisting the knob on the door.

Zeke passes as I hold the door and Christina adds, "That's right. It's in the Bible."

Zeke turns around and walks backwards. "Is that a direct quote, 'cause I'd like the reference."

I grab Tobias' hand to steady him as the wind blows down through the hole in the roof and pull him out of the stairwell and into the open. Zeke holds that ladder at one end and Matthew, who got here with Shauna earlier than the rest of us, holds it at the top. Adrenaline is in my system, but I'm still worried about Tobias. Will he really go?