"Dean Winchester is nothing but a selfish little kid with no respect for anyone around him. He doesn't deserve me."
As I twirled my tangly brown locks around my frozen forefinger-- a nervous habit of mine-- I repeated those words again and again in my head. Do you really believe that? I thought to myself. I really couldn't say.
I continued to walk down the misty road, my legs beginning to shake, my heart pounding in my ears with the beats growing closer and closer together as I walked. With each step I was closing the already painfully short distance to ending my first ever relationship. One that just so happened to be with the boy I believed to be the love of my life.
I turned stiffly around the corner into the parking lot of the old motel-- something I had done almost too many times before-- and immediately the motel door with the ugly, red, peeling paint that I knew all too well came into clear view.
I bit my trembling, chapped lower lip anxiously as my worn and dirtied black Chucks carried me across the cracking sidewalk and onto the worn-down front porch where I had been greeted by the man I loved many times prior. Without thinking, my body came to an abrupt stop. Am I really going to do this? I battled with myself over the matter for what seemed like hours. Those had to have been the longest ten seconds in history.
Having won and lost the argument with myself I finally turned to the door. I glanced sentimentally over to the chip in the paint on the lower right corner which looked like a rabbit-- something he had pointed out after our first date before kissing me goodnight. His kiss was so mesmerizing it was hard to stop once you'd started. He had made sure that kiss were no different and we eventually had to be pulled apart by the sound of his younger brother unlocking the door quite a while after we had arrived to the porch.
I let out a long discontent sigh as I finally uncrossed my arms and performed my usual muffled knock on the door. I could feel the hot tears begin to well up in my eyes as I tried to remember what I wanted to say, waiting for him to answer the door for me one final time.
We had been together for nearly six months. It had all been a cakewalk at first, but apparently some things are too good to be true. He had done things that I just couldn't forgive him for. Being the typically submissive person I am, I had let it all happen and not done anything. But, after many heated debates with myself, I had finally found the courage to woman up and end things with him. His breathtakingly green eyes and handsome brown hair weren't enough to make me forget the things I'd caught him doing.
Doing this wasn't only difficult because I loved him and I wished we could be ok, I had also never even had a boyfriend before. I had to take tips from characters in movies and tv shows to gather the information on how to break up with him.
There were so many things about him that I would never let myself forget, but I would always remember the running joke we had our entire relationship--that we must've been perfect for each other because we had Chemistry together.
