I Hate The Dark

My Screwed Up Mind

I have dreams. Dreams that are peaceful and romantic, and even fun. When a person you like likes you back and then you a thing. We've all had dreams of breathing under water or walking around with no pants. Those dreams that if the happened you'd be weirded out. I've had those dreams

But then there's those dreams. The ones that make you think. Think about what you really feel and really view the world around you. Those ones that if something happened to you, no one would care. That you try your hardest and nothing goes your way. I've had those dreams too.

There's also those dreams that you remember dreaming and know what's about to happen. So you control your actions and change the dream how you want it to be. And sometimes it works out or sometimes you wake yourself out of it. I can do that. I've had those dreams.

But then there are those dreams that I dread dreaming of. The ones that scare you out of your sane mind. Those that turn into nightmares. They feel so realistic that your heart could burst any moment. Where your not alone in the dark or you feel like something will hurt you but you can't stop it. The ones you can't wake up from no matter how many times you run or shake your self or scream. There's no way out. When you can't breath your struggling and it's so hectic and you just want to die already instead of dealing with the pain of your own insane mind. The ones that when you eventually wake up, you gasp for air and never want to go back to sleep so your body is even more exhausted. I have those dreams too.

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was hovering over my self, in bed sleeping. I looked over and in the center was a tall black figure with horns. My mind told me it was the devil himself. He was watching me, staring at me with his blood red eyes. I was confused. I was scared. I didn't guess what was happening, I knew what was happening. He was possessing my, trying to possess my unconscious body. I woke up and looked all around expecting to see these monster, but nothing was there. I kept my eyes wide open, searching the sealing in the shower, looking into the dark living room. Nothing. Everything was the same as before, except for me.

I just want them to stop. I want them to stop torturing me. I feel crazy having these dreams and nightmares. And at times I believe I am. I feel as though I'm being dragged to Hell and even Jesus and God can't help me. I feel as though God as abandoned me. He left me to take on the Devil himself and knows I will eventually fall and become damned. I hate it. I hate what these are doing to me. Their taking my sanity. Their taking over my mind and I don't have control. Is there anyone else like me? Am I alone in this screwed up world? Am I left behind!? Will I die!? Will these nightmares be my future!? Will I go to Hell!? Has God abandoned me already!?