Hetalia One Shots

Nordic Interventions

~Iceland~

"Iceland..." Norway took a deep breath. "We have to talk."

The entire Nordic family was seated in the living room, where they had gathered together.

Iceland looked at them all warily. "What do you mean?"

"We have to talk about what's happening with you and the fridge." Norway looked pitifully at his brother, who's eyes widened.

"THAT'S NOTHING NORWAY!" he shouted incrediously.

"Look, Ice," Denmark pitched in. "We know you are forever alone, but-"

"SHUT UP DENMARK I AM NOT!"

"Yeah! What about Hong Kong?" Everyone turned to look at Finland. "Whaat?" the blonde asked, grinning.

Norway turned his attention back to his little brother.

"Lil bror, we went in your room."

"You wHAT?"

"It's full of refrigerators. Small ones, big ones, fancy ones, simple ones. There is literally no floor space you have to crawl around the fridges."

Iceland stared at them all for a few seconds before jumping up and running to his room.

"DON'T JUDGE MY LIFE CHOICES!"

~Norway~

"Norge...we need to talk."

Norway looked at the four around him, looking at him a bit shamefully. 

"What?"

"This is an intervention."

Norway looked at Finland. "What do you mean? About what?"

"You," Denmark answered. "And your obsession with butter."

"What about it? I mean...what obsession?

"Big brother..." Norway looked at Iceland in shock as the younger continued. "It's gone too far!"

The Norwegian man looked around the group. "I am not obsessed with butter!!" He looked to Sweden, the only one who had not spoken, for help. But the tall man only stared down at him with soft blue eyes.

"Norway, your room is literally entirely made out of butter."

Norway looked at Finland. "How would you know?"

Iceland coughed slightly. "It's a wonder, really. I don't know how you aren't disgustingly dirty yet..."

"Yeah Nor!" Denmark poked in. "I mean, it's really hard to <censored> and <still censored> and <censored> when your bed and your room is made of butter. And I'm not immune to it like you seem to be; it gets all over me!"

"TMI!" Iceland shouted. "DENMARK THIS IS ABOUT NORWAY AND HIS PROBLEM, NOT ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE WITH NORWAY!"

Norway groaned and walked away as the two continued arguing. He flopped on his nice soft bed.

He wasn't sure what they were talking about. His room wasn't entirely made of butter!

Only the bed. And the walls. And the floor.

~Sweden~

Finland sat the tall Swede on the couch as the latter looked around at everyone gathered in the room.

"Su-san, I think we need to talk."

"We all need to talk." This was from Iceland, who was silently watching his brother.

"What?" Sweden asked in confusion.

"Sve, your obsession, it's just...it's gone a bit too far," Denmark said, uncharacteristicly soft.

Unnerved by this, Sweden paused before responding. "What do you mean?"

"You and your love for furniture. It was great at first, helping furnish the house, but now it's just gone wacky!" Finland said, not unkindly. He held Sweden's hand.

"Sweden, you literally live in Ikea!" Iceland shouted.

"Oh."

Finland sighed. "I can't even visit you anymore, I just get lost every time! I hate it!"

Sweden felt a bit bad for making his wife so upset. He was about to apologize when Norway spoke up for the first time.

"Plus, it's really hard to get butter off of a lot of that furniture."

"Norway I thought we talked about that!" Iceland exclaimed.

"YOU SHALL NEVER TAKE BUTTER FROM ME!" he yelled, leaping up and running. Iceland followed behind him.

"We aren't done here Sweden!!"

~Denmark~

"DENMARK JUST STOP SCREWING WITH LEGOS OK! YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! NORWAY! NO YOU CANNOT HAVE THE BUTTER!"

"I NEVER SAW YOU SOLVE YOUR FRIDGE PROBLEM!"

"WELL-I MEAN-UM-BUTTER IS WORSE BECAUSE IT'S MESSY!"

"WHAT?"

"JUST STOP PUTTING BUTTER ALL OVER THE LEGOS!"

Denmark jumped up. "What. Did. You. Just. Say?"

The shouting stopped and a quiet, "Oh shit" was heard from Norway.

~Finland~

Finland sat there awkwardly looking around at the array of the house.

"Glad I have no problems!" he said smiling.

"Fin, you xxxxxx the passenger seat."

Finland continued to sit there with the same smile. "Fxxk off Su-san!" he said way too cheerfully.

~Sealand~

"I AM A COUNTRY!"

No one heard.