I lay here staring at the ceiling. Its 3:46 in the morning and as usual I'm lying awake thinking about every little thing I've ever fucked up in my life. Every small, stupid mistake...ugh. At times like this i wish i could just go back in time and change everything, made it so i had never even been born. I hate living here on this filthy world. Everything is just so fucked up. I mean, just look at my parents...
My mom left us when i turned 7. She had, had enough of my dad. She hated him with her whole heart. Ever since then my dad's been depressed. He gets drunk almost every night to try and forget...but it only makes it worse. He's some what abusive. When he's angry he screams in my face and hits me...i wish mom was here to make him happy.
Most people would find comfort in their friends...I've never had a true friend. My supposed "friends" always ended up stabbing me in the back or leaving me thinking i had fucked up once again.
4:00...I wish i could sleep...But since i can't i guess I'll just occupy myself with these pills and razors..
I've been planning my suicide for a while now, and decided i would overdose to make the pain fade quicker. I think tonight is the night I'll finally do it. I can't live in this world anymore...Its fucking pointless. Im just a useless, worthless fuck up who will never become anything..Its not like I'd be missed
I look around my room to find my suicide letter I've written and rewritten a million times. I read through it and start to cry...if only i could've stayed strong...
I sneak into the bathroom to grab my bottle of pain reliever and my razors. I decide to take the entire bottle and hope to god i can finally fall into my eternal slumber. Once i take the last pill, i grab my razor and cut my wrists for the last time. With each cut going deeper and deeper into my skin i can feel myself slowly losing consciousness. I throw my blade onto the floor and lay down on my bed and slowly drift to sleep, never to awake again. And before im asleep i use my final breathe to say "Peter Pan, please come take me to Neverland" and with that I'm gone...
