Loving Him (Ashton Irwin a.u.)

Chapter 21

Khalil Gibran once said:

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Would it have been entirely hypocritical of me to agree?

I had three days booked on holiday. That meant three days away from Ashton, three days away from my best friends, three days away from my family. Though it was effective as a mind clearing experience I couldn't help but view it more as a negative time. I was suffering from heartbreak and confusion and while the time I had to myself was useful it was also lonely and filled with hours spent alone wondering why my life had to be so complicated.

In these hours I had spent by myself I discovered a new kind of 'lost' and a new kind of 'confused'. A kind in which you deny your status as either lost or confused though you know very clearly you have faced a time in your life that has lead you to be one of these two things. Even trying to describe it to myself confused me.

There were so many things I just didn't understand and that I needed to make sense of in my life and there would have been no possible way around doing that when I was bumping into the main people of my life everywhere I went, which is why this holiday ended up being so beneficial to me.

On the plane journey home I sat next to a young man, possibly a few years younger than me, who was travelling to Sydney with his girlfriend who was sat on the other side of him. They were  both originally from Barbados but they were exploring new places to move together.

"I'm excited for you guys," I told them at some point on the loooong flight. "You'll love Sydney, it's beautiful. Especially in Autumn."

"I know, right," the girl, Sophia, said with a smile. "I've been before with my family on holiday, it's gorgeous."

We continued small talk, and ended up exchanging numbers and even grabbing some food together in the hour-long layover in New York. I told them I was in Barbados on holiday courtesy of my parents, and that I was supposed to go with my boyfriend, but I didn't tell them why he wasn't there. They looked at me sympathetically as they put two and two together.

There was a delay at the airport, and so we had to wait an extra three hours between flights, meaning four in total, so I went shopping with them.

We didn't sit next to or near each other on the second flight from New York to Sydney, so I got some rest.

I only woke up when the plane had touched down on Australian soil, at which point I hastily unbuckled my seatbelt, gathered up my things and hurried off the plane. My legs felt like jelly as I wobbled off the bridge towards the terminal - this often happened when I hadn't walked for a few hours - but I used my wheelie carry-on bag to prevent me from tripping or falling over.

The kind couple found me again at baggage claim as I struggled to grab my bag off the carousel, so he grabbed it for me. I thanked him gratefully, and when I tried to take it off him he insisted he would carry it for me. His girlfriend smiled and nodded, so I accepted the offer and walked with them to the exit.

It's a good thing I wasn't carrying my bag because if I was I would have dropped it at this point. Standing anxiously at the pickup was Ashton, a large bouquet of carnations, my favourite flower, just like he always brought me, clutched tightly in his hands. He was bouncing nervously on his toes as he looked for me in he crowd of people leaving the airport. As his eyes laid on me, his body froze much like mine had. The crowd of people continued to swerve around us as all we for used on was each other. The only people other than us that weren't moving were the couple who still had my bag.

Ashton started moving towards me, taking long strides until he was pressed up against me, our lips moving together, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.