Loyalty V/S Love Reloaded

chapt 1 cont. part 2

 "Wake up J!" "Why, what time is it China?"

  "Ten thirty and it's my birthday nigga!"

 "So it ain't like mama gon do something for it and you ain't getting shit."

  By this time J was sixteen and had lost all respect for our mom. He could be harsh but I know it was his way of trying to prepare me for the unavoidable disappointment that always followed. Everybody knew Prencess prostituted and was an addict. He hated ma for our treatment over the years.

  "So J get up!" "Shhh China you hear that?" I stopped to listen.

 I could hear a man in the living room yelling at mama.

 " Naw, bitch ain't no more credits. You owe me, you fucked up when you smoked up the shit I left over here for you to hold on to. Bitch run my nine racks or I'm droppin you right here."

 "I ain't got it right now but I got a watch my dad gave me it's at least worth two hundred until I get the rest. What was I supposed to do I needed it they cut my check this month and...."

  "I don't give a fuck about yo shit bein short.And what the fuck I look like? A pawnshop? You better come up with something else and quick. That's a damn shame Prencess back in the day you was the baddest bitch in the hood. Had bitches mad when you came thru. Now you a washed up junkie any nigga can have for the right price. And that shit so worn out it ain't worth shit. What else you got on this money?"

  "My 14 year old, China, she got my looks and a body, you can have her for the night. She not worn out. She pure."

  "Prencess what the fuck imma do with a 14 year old bitch imma pusher not a rapist."

  "Well I got a son, he could move some work for you he's sixteen now."

 He rubbed his chin thinking about where he could use the young boy.

"Now you talking Prencess I could use a new foot soldier for a spot on King Drive."

 "J! Come out here!"

  "What's goin on J? Where she sending you? What imma do when you leave?"

"China it's ight ma I'm not gonna leave I love you lil sis we all we got."

 He poked me in the forehead and walked out the bedroom door. "We all we got." is a phrase he used to always say to calm me down when I was scared. It was a way of letting me know he would protect me no matter what.

After J went into the living room they were barely talking and when I could hear them it was too low to figure out. After a couple sentences I heard the guy loud and clear. "Let's go J". I ran to the living room and he was pushing J out the door. He was yelling at mama who sat up leant against the wall flicking a blue Bic lighter. The flame crackled against the bottom of the spoon. She was hoping to get some leftovers out of it.

  "Ma you can't separate me and China who gon look after her?"

  "She'll be fine, I'm her mother ain't I?." Prencess smirked.

 "Bitch you just tried to sell her for yo bullshit!" He looked back one last time and Prencess closed the door.

  "Mama how you just gon let J go?! When he coming back?!"

"He ain't coming back China he grown now I gave up my good years for yal and its past time to pay me back. I can't afford to feed both of yal anyhow. Now get off my face with that whinin."

It was then I truly realized how cold she could be and that I may never see my brother again but as soon as I could I would look for him. This was the last time I planned on acknowledging my birthday.