Mirror of My Heart

My Heart, My Soul

Iseul. Kim Iseul. She had been their honeymoon baby. Beautiful Iseul has been their ray of sunshine, entity of hope, and long lasting happiness. She was the one that completed their family, made them content, and whole. They were supposed to watch her grow up, become a mirror of their spitting images. She was supposed to give them heaven and hell, and leave home when she was ready to become an independent woman. Watch her start her own family, guide her along as she became a parent, and hold their grandchild in their arms.

It was supposed to be like that.

Should have been like that.

But he lost her.

Renowned fashion designer Namjoo made the tabloids after publicly pleading for whoever had taken their baby. They offered a generous reward, but no one stepped up. All hell broke loose when his wife of five years filed for divorce, ultimately abandoning him in the end.

Kai's life remained at a standstill. Good riddance, he had thought when Namjoo walked out the door. No more petty arguments. No more sleeping separately. A half year later down the line, he missed her like hell.

Every day he drowned in work and more work. Would travel around the country and return to his lonely apartment. Sometimes he expected to find Namjoo inside, maybe on the bed, curled up and asleep. Realistically, no one was there to greet him.

He kept the wedding pictures Namjoo didn't care for. She'd only left him a few photos of their beloved daughter, took the rest with her.

Once he had been brave enough to discreetly attend one of her fashion events, but a co-worker had pointed him out. In the end, Namjoo dragged him to the back of the stage, blew his ear off and demanded him to leave.

That was...a year ago. He hadn't seen her since.

Today marked three years since they separated. It was nighttime. The world outside seemed so far away. He felt isolated, like he was drifting off on an island further and further away from the warmth that once belonged to him.

He was cold. "You've lost weight," he'd heard many times. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he was shivering even in spring. It was barely two in the morning. Always at this time, he yearned for his wife...ex-wife. Namjoo had liked cuddling, he hadn't. Now he wished he would have done it more with her.

They first met when her boss introduced them at a convention for designers. Namjoo was just launching her career as a fashion designer and he into men's suits. He liked her immediately and they left the convention early to have dinner together. It all started off from there. Two years later they got married and went to Barcelona for their honeymoon. When they came back she was pregnant with Iseul.

And this...was where they ended up...separated.

*****

"Here's today's mail," his secretary placed a bundle of unopened mail onto his desk, all of them for him. "And I especially picked this up for you." He watched her set down a magazine onto his desk.

"What's that?"

"What you requested." She gave him a smile before walking out of his office, closing the door gently after her. When she was completely gone he picked the magazine up, scanning the front headlines. A fashion magazine. The model on the front page was wearing a white dress dotted in sequins and diamonds designed by Namjoo.

Since she'd been gone the only way he felt closer to her was by reading her interviews in magazines and seeing her clothes in picture. He was proud and happy for her. It felt, in some way, that she was showing him her most grand designs; sharing with him her joy and through interviews talking to him.