Fixing Up Valerie

With happiness, comes pain- 5

I saw Caleb again after school in the hallway, we both made eye contact and it was the most awkward feeling ever. Once he passed me I let out a breath I was holding in. But I swear I saw him somewhere earlier before school I just don't remember. I felt a tap on my shoulder, oh geez. Please dont be someone who wants to socialize.
"Hey Valerie, are you really okay?" I stopped walking once I recognized his voice.

How embarrassing, Caleb didn't even talk quietly when he asked me that. No, he decided to be a douche and ask out loud so others could hear. I turned around looking at him for a bit and looked around and stopped, amazing. A few people stood there looking at us waiting for my response. Caleb must've noticed other people listening into the conversation and shooed them away. "I'm fine, just fine." And with that I gave him my award winning smile. Although he didn't go for it but he wasn't gonna ask again. "Your still coming over to my house later, right?"
Oh jeez, just when I felt he was going to be quieter he still spoke with that loud voice-- and this time when he spoke it sounded wrong.

I nodded and looked around trying to escape this conversation. It looked like he wasn't going to be ending it any time now so I guess I will. I turned to the hall that led to the office and started walking back, "Hey um, sorry, but I have to go, someone's giving me a ride and I really don't want them leaving without me so bye." I gave Caleb a small wave and turned around and ran to the office. Once I got there I went to Carol's desk and sat there, and immediately I felt guilt. Why'd you push him away? He was only trying to help, Caleb possibly wants to be a friend.
But no matter who it is, I don't want to let anyone in, not anymore.

After waiting for 5 minutes, carol came out of her office with some student. Who looked like she has been crying about something, as she passed by me I gave her a small smile. She's sad, just like me.
"Okay, you ready to go val?" I nodded. We walked to her car and got in, I sat there looking out the window looking at the happy faces. I wish I could be happy again. But with happiness, pain comes wedging through. once I realized that the car engine hasn't started I looked back at Carol, she was already looking at me.

"Sorry, I just want to know how you're feeling but that's just my guidance self wondering, it never rests." She then turns the keys and drives out the parking lot. Replaying about everything that happened today made me cringe but smile a little. I got stared like I was some freak in all my classes, did they see my cuts? Could they tell already? I looked at my hands and pulled my sleeves till they stayed at my fingertips.

Also, during my FACS class when the teacher was introducing herself she started talking about her family. Which led me to asking her if I could be excused and I ran to the bathroom trying to convince myself not to have a breakdown. I stayed there for a good 15 minutes until I calmed down, when I got back in my seat this girl looked at me horrified. I get it I'm disgusting to look at, but don't make it so obvious. But my day wasn't completely all that bad, I met Caleb. He's like a friend of some sort, but now that I think about it, we were basically forced to be partners since we had brains. Oh god, what if he's only doing this for pity?

We arrived at my house, Carol said she wanted to help me out a bit and see how I was handling being by myself. I gave her the full tour and went to my room to empty my backpack and only have the supplies I needed when I go to Caleb's house, which was in 30 minutes or so. "How come they haven't kicked you out yet? Like I mean, No one has been paying for the house since your parents . . . . Right?" I never even thought of that, why haven't they arrived yet? I nodded.
"I've been checking the mail everyday and it's always coupons and magazines-- nothing about bills." I know for a fact that we don't own the house, we rented it. Mrs. Axel looks around my room for a while until she looks back at me, "well I'll have to check what's going on but I'll do it later. Are you ready to go? You're a little late already and if we don't head out now, Caleb will think you bailed on him" Carol tells me this but I look at her confused. "Isn't it 3:35?" I asked her and she just laughs, "Valerie it's 4:30 see?" She takes out her phone and she's right. Crap. I grab my bag and head to the door, "come on let's go".

We arrive at Caleb's house and it's already 5 pm, I'm an hour late. "Call me if you need me to pick you up, I'll go check out the home owner to see what's up okay val?" I yell okay and run to his porch as she drives laughing. I take in the looks of his house. Which looks like a humble home, not to big or small, just perfect. The sunflowers standing tall by the porch steps, all golden yellow. I snap back into reality and knock on his door; which I'm assuming. Carol parked between two houses-- so it could be this one or the other house. This better be the right house or I'll be so embarrassed.

The door finally opens and a women about 30 ish is there holding the door handle. Please be Caleb's mom. The women smiles at me and shakes my hand, my turn to do something. "Sorry to bother you ma'am but is there a Caleb that lives here?" She smiles even bigger if that's possible.
"You're the girl he was talking about since I've gotten here."
Oh crap.