starting again

one

A now 18 year old Sam is played by Hailey Baldwin
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"Aunty Sam, do you have to leave?" Alex asked me in his little baby voice. I let out a shaky sigh and picked him up, setting him on my hip.

He's gotten so big, being almost four makes me realize how fast the time has gone. "I will visit you all the time, okay bud?" I said, trying my best to compromise with this little boy I get to call my nephew. He gave me a small smile and nodded his head before wiggling out of my grasp, obviously wanting to go back on the ground.

As he wished, I set him down, letting him run up to a recently pregnant Sierra.

These past three years have been amazing for me. I got to actually see who I am, which was never quite possible. I learned how to be a responsible young adult, with the help of Sierra and Brent. But, today's the day I go back. Kendall gets back from N.Y.C today and believe it or not, this is the first time she'll be coming home since she left.

I FaceTime her every day, but after a while, it just doesn't cut it.

I gave Sierra a smile and engulfed her in a hug, thanking her for this experience. "I'll really miss you." I mumbled into her shoulder. Sierra didn't visit much as it was, but it didn't bother me because I lived with her. With my tears wetting her shirt ever so slightly, I pulled away. "Are you ready to get your best friend back?" Sierra excitedly asked me and I broke out into a huge smile.

I never exactly lost Kendall, but it definitely felt like it. I'm just so thrilled to see her after all this time.

I gave everyone a final goodbye and grabbed my suitcases that have grown over the years. I'm not mentally prepared to see Kendall within a few shorts hours, and I already know that. She's gotten big, real big. With an album coming out and multiple singles being released on the radio, I'm beyond proud.

Piling all of my things into the car, I headed out. It was at least a three hour flight, so I drove to the airport and got situated.

After the plane ride, I went straight to the airport. I wasn't very worried about saying hi to my parents, mainly because I stopped by not too long ago. Cameron has been good, too. Him and Rachel are still dating, although I'm surprised he hasn't proposed by now.

"Flight 365 departure." Was called over the intercom and I started frantically looking around for Kendall. I didn't seem to find her until her familiar blonde hair bobbed up in the crowd. I immediately started pushing people out of my way in an attempt to reach her, and when I did, I starting to get tears in my eyes. She saw me and didn't hesitate to run up and hug me.

She's gotten taller, of course. Her hair is lighter and her skin tanner. She's changed and for the better. Her and Jacob are no longer dating, either. After about a year, I guess they just got tired of each other.

Engulfing me in a hug, she started crying automatically. I did the same and we pulled away. "Oh my god I missed you so much." Kendall cried and I hugged her again, telling her how much I missed her as well. I dragged her arm and dragged her out to the car, in an attempt to talk to her like we used to, but face to face this time.

I drove us to my place and bursted through the doors, saying a quick hello to my family.

"How have you been?" She asked as I sat on the floor of my room that was recently redone with her on the bed. I knew right away that she was referring to the one and only Hayes Grier. 

I put on a fake smile and simply said, "I'm good." But she didn't buy it. "The truth please." She demanded and I sighed. "I'm not okay." I admitted. "But I always tell people I am. I guess I'm just scared of being judged. I'm hurting inside, but I don't want anybody to know." I said and she nodded, encouraging me to continue.

"And you know how people ask you how you are? You're not supposed to actually tell them. You're just supposed to say you're fine, or great or good. You're not supposed to admit to people what you have trouble admitting to yourself. So whenever anybody asks me how I'm doing, I smile and say I'm fine. Just like I'm supposed to. But I'm not, Kendall. The truth is I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore." I said and my throat got dry as I got to the verge of crying.

She sighed and asked me a question I've been asking myself since Hayes and I broke up. "Do you still love him?" She questioned and I let out a cold laugh.

"I honestly don't know. I just know that I hate what he did, and I hate that he cheated on me, and I hate that he had sex with Sarah, but I don't hate him. No matter how much I wish I did, just so everything could be much simpler." I responded and Kendall nodded.

"He still loves you ya know." She responded and I gave her a perplexed look. She clearly saw it and further explained. "I used to talk to him. A lot, actually, and you're all that was ever on his mind." Kendall stated and I was stunned. I never thought about the fact that he could think about me, maybe because he hurt me so bad I didn't realize it was still possible.

"What am I gonna do?" I asked out loud, not expecting any sort of answer. Kendall shrugged and I stood up from the cold, dark wood I had previously been sitting on. Joining her on the bed, we sat there in silence. Of course, that silence was interrupted by Nash crashing through the doors.

"Baby Dallas!!" He yelled and engulfed me in a hug. Things were a little awkward after the whole thing between us happened, but we've kept in contact these past few years. Whenever I came back to visit my family, I visited Nash as well. But this previous time, he was out of town visiting Hayes, so it's been awhile.

I smiled and hugged him back before he pulled away with a shocked expression on his face. "Holy shit, is that Kendall?" He asked me, even though he clearly knew the answer already. She laughed and they hugged, too.

"Have you heard?" Nash asked me with a perplexed expression on his face as he sat on the window seat that was recently put onto my room. "Heard what?" I asked with a slight laugh, and both Nash and Kendall looked at each other. Clearly they both knew something that I didn't. "Someone better tell me what the hell is going on before I lose it." I demanded and Nash cleared his throat. "Hayes is back."
He said and with that one statement, my heart dropped to my stomach.

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ITS BEEN SO LONG AND IM SO SORRY!!!

I've had become bored with writing these stories, as I felt nobody enjoyed them. Recently, I've found passion in writing again and am thrilled to say that I'm back and better then ever!!!

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