Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Kashaf 24 January continued

"Zaroon"
Maine halke se use pukara.
"Kaho"
"Is lunch ki koi khas wajah?"
Sach kahun toh mujhe lag raha tha ki Zaroon ab peeche hatne wala hai. Shayad wo meri madad aur nahi kar sakta aur isliye maine socha ki wo mujhe lunch par le aya hai.
"Khas wajah..umm..nahi par mere zahen me ek baat toh todhe dino se beshak chal rahi hai Kashaf."
"Kaunsi baat?"
Maine usse pucha.
Woh kuch pal chup raha. Mujhe kuch bechani si hone lagi. Shayad koi badi baat hai mujhe laga kyun ki wo itna kabhi toh nahi jhijhagta.
"Kaho bhi."
"Baat yeh hai Kashaf ki kya tumne socha hai ki tumhara future kya hai? Yeh jo humne milkar jhut bola hai aur Ye jo hum dono ne ek dusre ki naam ki anguthi pahen rakhi hai iska kya future hai? Yeh mamla kitna pechida hogaya hai ab tum andaza bhi hai Kashaf? Pehle baat sirf tumhari manhai ki thi ab ye sirf utna simple nahi hai. Agar ab hum sab ko sach batayenge toh kaun baat manega akhir humari? Sab kitne hurt honge Kashaf aur especially tumhare abba. Unhe kitna bada dhakka pohnchega ye tumne socha hai? Uss samay toh tumne unki tabiyat sambhalne ke liye yeh jhut bol diya magar ab jab unhe pata chalega toh kya hoga tumne socha hai? "
"Tum peeche hat rahe ho?"
"Kashaf main hargiz peeche nahi hat raha magar us din humari zabardasti sagai kar wa di gayi shayad aise hi kisi din humara nikah padhwa diya jayega. Tum samjh rahi ho?"
"Woh humara nikah aise hi toh nahi karwa sakte bina humari marzi ke."
Maine kashmakash mein kaha.
"Kuch aisa hi tumne sagai ke waqt kaha tha beharhal sacchai toh yeh hai Kashaf main toh yeh nikah khushi khushi kar lunga magar tum? Kya tum adjust kar sakogi?"
"Tum khushi khushi kar loge matlab?"
Maine chauk kar uski taraf dekha toh usne apni nazrein jaldi se jhuka li.
"Mera matlab toh tumhe meri is baat se hi samjh jana chahiye tha."
"Mujhe ye tavvakku nahi thi tumse Zaroon."
Yeh keh kar main waha se uth kar chali gayi. Woh meri taraf dekhta reh gaya. Magar mujhe wo baat bilkul bhi achi nahi lagi thi. Kya woh mere is situation ka faida uthna chahta hai? Kya sab hi mard aise hi hote hai? Aurton ka faida chor aur kuch nahi sujhta unhe. Mujhe Zaroon se madad nahi leni chahiye thi. Usne mujhe bohot hurt kiya hai apni is baat se. Main use ek dost samjhne lagi thi. Whom i could rely on, par yahi sila milna tha mujhe. Ghar pohnch kar meri Sidra se bhi bahes hogayi. Yeh ladki mujhe akela kyun nahi chor deti.
"Kya baat hai aj jaldi ghar chali ayi tum?"
"Koi masla hai tumhe mere ghar jaldi ane se?"
"Nahi mujhe kyun masla hone laga magar mujhe lagta hai tumhare saath zarur koi masla hai.Zarur tum Zaroon se lad kar ayi ho."
"Tumhe aisa kyun lagta hai?"
"Mooh jo aise latka hai tumhara."
"Toh akhiri baar khila hua chehra kab dekha tha tumne mera."
"Haan Kashaf yeh toh sach hai. Tumhara chehra bachapan se maine bohot kam hi khila hua dekha hai. Magar akhiri baar maine woh khushi tumhare chehre par Zaroon ke saath dekhi thi."
"Namumkin."
"Khair ab yakeen hogaya mujhe."
"Kya yakeen hogaya ?"
"Yehi ki tum Zaroon se ladh kar ayi ho warna kya tum is baat se inkar karti?"
"Apne dimag ke ghode na daurau aur mere kamre se bahar jao Sidra. Shakal na dikhana mujhe apni."
"Tumhara Zaroon se koi masla hua hai uska yeh hargiz matlab nahi Kashaf ki tum mujhse aisi badtameezi se baat karo. Main abhi ammi si baat karti hoon."
"Jisse baat karni hai karo meri jaan choro."
Kyun? Kyun? Log mujhe chain se jeene nahi de sakte. Kyun?