Sometimes
It hurts to breathe.
To even exist
is just too much.
I've been taking a lot of time off from school. 'Home' alone. Feeling worse and worse day by day. I don't want to move. But I want to run. I don't want to sleep. But I'm always tired. I don't want to leave. But I hate it here. It's just a never ending cycle. Waiting and waiting.....for something. I don't even know what I'm waiting for.
To feel loved? To be loved? Or even just to love? Maybe I'm waiting to be happy. Most of my life was spent waiting. Waiting to leave, to travel, to live by my self and be free.
But then what? I'm naïve. I wouldn't be able to make it on my own. I need people. I'm dependant on them. I can't even do a simple calculation in maths without looking at my partner's paper to see if I got it right. I'm insecure. But I don't let anyone know. I crave attention, but hate it when it comes my way. I don't want to be a burden, but I'm a bit clingy. I want someone....but I tell people I'm content with being single.
I'm content with being lonely because that's all I've ever known.
And once again,
I find my self here.
'Home'
Alone.
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A/n
While writing this I was listening to 'drown acoustic version-citizen' I'd suggest listening to it. Thanks for reading!
YOU ARE READING
Random Thoughts and Other Things
PoetryJust a book of some of my thoughts, ideas for books I've had and just anything that comes to my mind. Please don't copy, if you get inspired from any of these I'd love to read your interpretations ^_^
