Four Months Later

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Four months later and I'm awake at three in the morning gasping for air and trying not to scream because I forgot what your mouth tastes like while you've tasted her skin every night this week and I thought watching the videos from the first night we met would help me fall asleep but now all I taste in my mouth is acid and my hands won't stop shaking and I thought rereading the texts where you said you loved me over and over again until I literally had to beg you to stop would make me hurt less but now tears have made my vision blurry and I've been holding my breath for so long my head is spinning I hope I pass out so I forget your name even is it's just for a moment I want to feel what it's like to not be haunted by you

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