The Dawn of Realization.

Chapter Three.

     The rumors lasted all the way up until Friday after school, I could hear them whispering around me as I came out the front doors. They were like the wind, so low and light, but following me all the way across the courtyard.

     People glanced at me, then glanced to their friends, then back at me. Some of them had no shame in their gawking. Some of them did.

     I had made it half way across the parking lot, before a harping voice called after me. I turned, seeing Thierry Grayson jogging up to me, his pale cheeks were pink from the chilly air.

    Before my fathers " suicide " Thierry had been the guy I had been trying to get with all semester. I don't think I had thought of him once in the last two weeks. I felt guilty, but justified.

     " Where have you been?" He asked, running his fingers through his blonde hair. I watched his fine movements with detailed precision, more than I probably should have if I wanted to play that Hard To Get game with him.

     " Here." I said, shrugging. Where else would I have been? Mars? Texas? Wal- Mart?

    " Duh. " He rolled his eyes. " I mean, why haven't you been answering my phone calls? "

     I looked at him and he seemed genuinely concerned, or concerned enough. He was the first to approach me since the accident, despite the rumors circulating about my eery calm demeanor.

     "I've been busy." It wasn't a total lie. I had been busy, I had a part time job and a lot of home work I'd been making up in my week of absence for the funeral arrangements. I guess I had been avoiding people as much as people were avoiding me.

     I vaguely remembered seeing his numerous phone calls the morning after the ceremony was held, but I hadn't had the energy to call him back since.

     " Are you busy now? " He asked, his green eyes were hopeful. I felt the twisting of knots, high in my stomach, as I struggled to come up with an excuse. Thierry was a nice boy, cute, thoughtful, and very honest to me.But I didn't know what was going on with me.

     " I have work at 5. " I said, which was solely true. I worked at thrift store Second Chance Fashion down the street.

     " Want to grab some coffee or something? " He proposed, smiling shyly. " You look like you could use it."

     And that's how I found myself sitting in the vinyl booth, in the cafe across from my place of work. I stared down at the french vanilla coffee between my hands. 50's music was playing on the jukebox.

     God, this town was so dated.

     " So, how are you and stuff? " He looked at me, sipping his black coffee; lots of sugar.

     "I'm okay, and stuff. " I shrugged, eyeing the traffic out the window. This time of year, the days were getting shorter, but the air was still hot and heavy. Almost unbearable.

     " You seem..." He trailed off. " Different. "

     " Oh. "

     " I mean, you've always been very cool, calm, and calculated. But I don't think I've seen you smile all week. " Thierry placed his hand over mine, but I withdrew. I suddenly felt uncomfortable to be there as I raised my eyes to his.

     " My dad died, Thierry. " I said.

     " I know, I'm sorry. " He apologized. " It's just that you're not the same since you're dad killed himself. It's like you're dead, too. "

     " My dad didn't kill himself. " I stated, matter-of-factly.

     Thierry was silent for a moment, those big green eyes looking at me, trying to pry down deep in my soul.

     " You're the one who found him. " He said.

     " I did. All the more reason for me not to believe the coroner. " I spoke in hushed tones, noticing the disturbing bystanders. This town was too small for them to not know who I was and what we were discussing.

     " I know my dad, Thierry. " I said. " He would never have done such a thing. "

     " Dawn, you - "

     " Sorry, Thierry, I'm late for work. " I side tracked, seeing the clock on the wall. I was actually late, but the excuse would have been there anyway.

     " I'll talk to you later, Dawn. " He said my name softly, grazing my hand with his fingers as I slipped out of the booth and left a few dollars to cover my coffee, too.

     I walked across the street, feeling his eyes on me the whole way, and entered the thirft store. I punched in on the time clock, set up at the counter, and the other girl cashier went home. I'd be here until 10 tonight, but I'm sure a part of me was glad that I didn't have to go home.

     I sat at the counter, growing bored, I began arranging the jewelry cases by price. I arranged the clothing racks, color coordinated them, and finished up my shift with a total of two purchases made by regulars.

     It was 15 after 10 when I got home. There was a foreign car in our driveway, and by foreign I mean a Hyundai. I easily recognized the vehicle parked in my usual space.

     I traveled inside to greet our company.

     My mom and uncle Rich sat at the table, chit chatting. Moms eyes were red, blood shot, and Uncle Rich looked so much like dad in the dim light.

     They shared the same jet black hair that they'd passed to me, the crystaline blue eyes, and ever so slightly tanned skin.

     Uncle Rich even had the peppering of gray at his temples, but he was almost a full decade my fathers junior.

     " Dawn, look at you! " He said, cracking in to a smile. He was also so easy- going, even with the grief behind his eyes.

     He got up from his chair and gave me one of his famous bear hugs. I returned it a little bit. Usually, I was excited to see him, but this time he'd only came in to town to pay his respects. I usually only saw him once a year or so.

     " Uncle Rich is in town for awhile. " Mom said, fidding her thumbs together. " He's staying at the inn down the road. "

     " That's cool, " I said, looking between them. I had been hoping my mother would be fast asleep so I could snoop, but guess not. " I have home work, so. "

     I went up the stairs before finishing the sentence. At the top on the landing, I could hear them talking about again.

     " Wow, who was that? " Uncle Rich said in disbelief. " She's usually ecstatic when I'm here."

     " She's been different since. It's down right creepy. " mom said and I ached a little. Creepy?

     " Dawn's always handled things a lot differently than us. Just give her time. " Uncle Rich said, suddenly more collected than before.

     Why were people suddenly so concerned with how I handled my grief? I had done my crying and my moaning, but now it was time to start finding out who had really done this to my father. And Saturday was the perfect day to do it, since mom wouldn't be home and I would be free.

     I slunk to my bedroom, their conversation now out of ear shot. I could only assume they were still discussing my lack of interest. It was hours before I was able to get some sleep and even then, it was restless.