Anathema

In October

October.

October is supposed to be a very fun month. When you decide what to wear for Halloween and you get to go to haunted houses. You get free candy and everything is creepily themed.

October of 2013 was not very fun for me. Tyler had a lot of friends and a lot of them didn't like me. They thought I was overreacting and that I was pretending to be sad.

Honestly I had always been sad. It just got a lot worse. I lost someone that I was so close to and it just hit me hard. I couldn't help that I was sad.

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Since I didn't have any friends anymore I found places to sit by myself. There was actually a lot of places to be alone. I started reading a lot and I listened to music literally all the time.

During the first few weeks of October I had tried to talk to Tyler. I messaged him a few times but he never messaged back. After the fifth time, I just gave up.

All I wanted was for him to talk to me. I just wanted one simple conversation but he wouldn't talk to me.

After my failed attempts at a conversation with Tyler, a friend of his started to be really mean to me. I'd just be sitting in my little corner reading and she'd come up to me and start telling me all kinds of things. I will not name her because her part isn't that important.

"Tyler never cared about you. He treated you like shit. You're so stupid, he never loved you. I don't know why you're making such a big deal over the breakup, you're so overdramatic." I can still hear her cold voice in my head.

She came up to me and told me things like that a lot after I tried to message Tyler. I decided I would just find a new spot to be alone, I was getting tired of hearing her. I finally left my spot in the middle of October.

I went on an adventure to find a new spot, it really wasn't that hard. After aimlessly walking for about ten minutes, I found a new spot that was way better than my first one. I say myself down and began to read.

As I was reading someone walked up. A boy walked up. He stood there and he looked at me but didn't leave. I looked up from my book, terrified. I recognized him, but I wasn't quite sure from where. I could feel the anxiety rising in me. He smiled and sat down in front of me.

I began to shake and bite the inside of my lip. He smiled and finally said something, "You are a very pretty girl, you know." I was in complete shock. I had no idea what to do so I did what I do best. I got up and ran away from him.

I went to the bathroom where I proceeded in having an anxiety attack. Breathing heavily and sweating profusely, I panicked. Then after the panic, I began having a breakdown.

Why couldn't I just stay and talk to this boy? Why was I so scared all the time? Why did I run away? He wasn't going to hurt me. Why was I so stupid?

I sat and cried in the stall for a while before I heard the door open. A boys voice called into the bathroom, "Pretty girl, where did you go?" I didn't respond. I was completely shocked and embarrassed. I didn't want him to know that I ran in the bathroom so I could cry.

But then he said something else, "I know you're in here, I saw you run in here, Bliss." I cursed under my breath and opened the stall door. Ever so slowly I walked out of the stall and faced him.

Wait, how does he know my name?

Wow. He was really cute. Dirty blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, converse, jeans and a Rolling Stones tee. He was amazing already.

I stared at the ground, I couldn't find any words. Then all of the sudden I blurted out a sentence, "I'm really sorry that I rushed off like that, I'm a very nervous person." He looked a little confused and then said, "That's alright pretty girl." He ended his sentence with a cute little smile.

We stood in silence for a moment before I found the courage to ask what his name was. He smiled a cute little half smile and I could feel my heartbeat speed up. "My name is Cameron." I repeated his name under my breath.

Then I started thinking, why did he come up to me like that? How does he know my name? I was a but overwhelmed but decided I shouldn't question him any further.

I could feel my cheeks heat up and I looked at the ground. My head shot up after a few seconds.

We were standing in the girls bathroom alone. What if a teacher walked in? What if another student walked in? Oh my god.

"Well Cameron I really don't think it's a wise decision for us to be standing in the girls bathroom like this." God, I really was reading to much, I sounded like a narrator. He agreed with me and we went back to my newfound spot.

We talked about a lot of things. School, home, interests, favorite kind of music. I even told him about Tyler. He was really understanding and extremely nice.

I didn't like how much I already enjoyed his company. I was already getting attached and that wasn't a wise decision, I just couldn't help it.

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I talked to Cameron a few times after our first encounter, but then he started to ignore me. He completely ignored me, I tried to say hi to him and he walked straight passes me.

I didn't know what I did wrong and I was getting really upset. Why would he just ignore me like that? Why isn't he telling me what I did wrong? He was the only person who even bothered trying to talk to me, why was he leaving me behind?

It was now October 29th. I didn't want to go trick-or-treating alone so I messaged Cameron.

**
Me: Hey it's Bliss. I know you haven't been talking to me and whatever but would you like to join me on Halloween?

Cameron: Not really, trick-or-treating is stupid.

Me: No it's not, it's fun and you get free candy cx

Cameron: You're such a five year old.

Me: I can't tell if you're being mean or if you're kidding.

Cameron: Wow you're really dumb.
**

After that I decided he was just being mean so I didn't message him back but why was he acting that way? I didn't do anything wrong. I honestly thought I had made a friend or maybe even something more but I guess I was wrong.

Finally October came to and end and Halloween was here. Which brings us to the next part of the story.