Don't leave...We need you (5SOS Ashton Irwin) *COMPLETED, EDITING*

18: When you need to stop thinking about others, to think about yourself

 18: When you need to stop thinking about others, to think about yourself.

I come out of the shower feeling calm and refreshed. The addiction at the back of my mind, my wrists un scratched and the burning numbed. I smile as I pull on my clothes and enter back into the bedroom where Ashton still lays on the bed. I frown.

"You need to get ready" He looks up from his phone.

"What...huh?"

"I said you need to get ready. You told me to and your not ready!" I joke about.

"Oh right, I will just..." Ashton gets up off the bed avoiding my eyes. He grabs his bag and enters the bathroom, I had just left.

Well that was odd. No smile, no kiss, no eye contact. No nothing? My good mood disappears.

*Ashtons POV*

I regretted it the minute my thumb hit send. A promise is a promise right? No matter how much you need to tell someone, or no matter how much it will help the person whose promise it is, you still keep it? Yep well now I had gone and broken it. Anyway how will it help Becca if her brother knows? She won't have to tell him herself but what else? I am stupid. I am so, so stupid. If Becca never forgives me, I wouldn't be surprised.

I walk out the bathroom, when suddenly I remember that I have no clue as to where I am taking Beccs. I said I would take her somewhere but where? It's not like I know the area. What do girls like, shopping? Yeah but not Becca and anyways that requires money, something I don't have that much of and am not prepared to part with. A picnic? We have no food, but we could get some? Yeah we can go to M&S and get some food, find a park and eat it. Right.

But when should I tell her I told Luke? Uhhhh.....later.

"Hey babe!" I smile at her as I walk out the bathroom. She smiles back warily.

"So does a picnic sound good to you?" I ask. She nods her head then frowns.

"But we have no food?"

"We can get some" I grin temporarily forgetting about the situation.

****************************************

We have food but are now looking for somewhere to eat it. There are no parks in sight. My plan is not as faultless as I first thought. Finally I see some trees in the distance.

"Over there" I point.

"OK" Becca replies.

We head through the trees when we come to a clearing. It has a beautiful little pond with a waterfall. It is completely cut off from the outside world, and no-one else is here. I sit down against a tree pulling Becca with me. She sits between my legs. I open the food and set it down beside us. Becca barely touches anything that's not fruit and honestly I have no appetite with the thought of what I have just done. We sit in silence for a while just watching the little birds splash about it the water.

Suddenly Becca breaks the silence: "Why are you acting weird?" Oh god! Has she already sensed it? Is it that she is good at reading people or is it that 'm bad at faking normal? Either way she's noticed something out of place. I keep quiet trying to decide what to say. Becca swivels round to look me in the eye. I immediately look away.

"See you won't even look at me!"

With difficulty I revert my gaze from the floor to her eyes. She frowns then wraps her arms around me. I freeze before responding.

"Whats the matter?" She whispers. A single tear drops from my eye and falls onto her shoulder. She pulls away and squints at me.

"Why are you crying? Ashton talk too me!" More tears fall. If I say nothings wrong I would be lying, and she would never believe me.