Goodbyes

~

Kadona's eyes kept on the grass beneath him as he made his way up a rather large hill, holding the flowers in his hands close to his chest. He hated this time of year. He hated how it brought him the motive to come to this rather beautiful place. Though it was rather shady, there were no sort of annoying sound in the distance.... It was the perfect place to be at peace, though it no longer was for Kadona.
Once he made if fully up the hill, he was greeted by a large tree. He forced a smile to his lips as he walked behind it. He greeted the person he was destined to meet up with, Hashino. "Hey, Hashi.." Kadona mumbled as he sat down next to the figure. He chuckled as he placed down the flowers next to him. His smile began to falter when he heard no response from Hashino. "Still resting happily, I see." He mumbled as he placed a hand on Hashino's gravestone. He caressed it gently, as if the stone was precious to him. A tear slicked down his cheek as his grip tightened on the gravestone. "Why? Why couldn't I have been there for you?" Kadona's voice broke at several spots as more tears escaped his baby blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Hashi... I'm so sorry. I wish I was able to hear your pleas. I wish I had been a better boyfriend and listen to your cries..." Kadona tried to hold back more tears as he lied down next to Hashino's grave. Right as he did, he stared up to the leaves of the tree and began to fall back in time.

He began to think of the days before all of this happened, before Hashino became a victim. For a long while, the two were happy in the relationship. The two always smiled and they were always by each others side. Those were the happiest days of Kadona and Hashino's lives. But then, they began to falter a little. They began to argue from time to time, but overall the two were still happy with each other. But Kadona couldn't see the main issue at hand when it came to those arguments. He thought that Hashino was simply ignoring him. So, from the way he thought, he argued with Hashino on those points. It came to where they were always arguing. Day by day, each argument they had in the past repeated itself, getting deeper in depth each time. But even so, Kadona still couldn't see Hashino's reasoning.
Hashino didn't want to ignore Kadona, he truly tried to give him everything he could. Attention, affection.. he'd give it all to Kadona. But inside his mind, all he could truly do was blame himself for Kadona's feelings. He didn't know what was wrong, he didn't know what he was doing, but he blamed himself for it. Though he knew Kadona hated it when he blamed himself for wrongings, he couldn't help it. Over time, Hashino became depressed. He didn't want Kadona to suffer, he didn't want Kadona to put up with his sadness and wrong doings. He didn't want Kadona to be with him even though he loved him to death, he didn't want Kadona to ever be upset again. He didn't want to get up the next morning. He didn't want to even breathe anymore. He didn't even see a point in going on with life.
So, Hashino placed his life in fate's hands. He wrote a note to Kadona and placed it off to the side. Then, he brought out a gun and pulled the trigger.

Kadona wept as he remembered the sight of Hashino on the floor lifeless. He remembered the letter Hashino had written. He sat up from the ground and pulled out the folded up paper, reading the suicide letter.

Kadona,

I know you probably hate me now, but I want to tell you how much I'm sorry for wasting this last year with you. You deserve someone way better than me, someone who wouldn't make you feel ignored. Someone who could make you laugh and someone who would never make you feel down or angry. Though, I will admit... the first few months of our relationship were the best few months I have ever lived. Just thinking of you being happy makes me smile.
But sadly, I can't continue on. I can't carry on with these demons anymore. No matter what I do, nothing will get these damned things out of me. So, I'll leave you here.
If anything, please, don't cry. You mean everything to me, and I wouldn't want to know you're upset from my death. If anything, please go on and be happy. Find your true lover, find the one who will never bring you down... for me.

I love you so damn much, please don't forget that.

-Hashino

Kadona sniffled as he looked back over to Hashino's grave, He mouthed the words 'I love you too' as he felt the air become a bit lighter. He glanced over beside him to see a new form, as if there was a spirit. Kadona reached out for it desperately, only to see it fade away. He looked back down to the ground as more tears slipped out. "Goodbye, Hashino." He mumbled as his voice cracked once more, "Please... be happy."