A Bad Boy's Shy Boy

Chapter 8: Over

I woke up and Grayson was gone. I didn't know where he was or what happened but all I knew was that my head was bounding and I needed some water. I got up off the floor and walked over to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water. I drank the water and looked at the clock. 7:00. I had slept for at least 3 hours. Where was Grayson?
"Grayson!" I yelled thinking maybe he was in the bathroom
No reply.  I find my phone and try to text Grayson.
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Ethan- Grayson
Ethan- Where are you?
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I wait and wait but he doesn't read the messages or reply. I start to get worried. What if he went home and something bad happened? What if - what if my ray of sunshine doesn't come back? What if the only thing that makes me happy doesn't come back? Where is he? Where did he go? I need him! He needs me! I hear my glass drop. Slip from my hands as I begin to panic. I run out the door leaving the broken glass laying there on the floor. I run. I run down the street and head to Grayson's house. I slowly approach the front porch. Should I knock? What if i do and nobody answers and Grayson's in there in trouble? Should I just go in? No I should knock. I raise my fist to the door and just as I'm about to knock,
"Ethan!" I hear Grayson's voice
I turn around and see him standing there. My vision blurs and it's hard to see him.
"Ethan!" He yells
I began to fall then I see it now. Grayson's sitting there in front of me with his hands on my knees staring into my eyes. I realize I'm crying and I'm completely lost now. I reach out and pull Grayson in. I needed to know if he was real. I needed a form of comfort. Then the memory's start to come back.

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Grayson's P.O.V.
I woke up to the sound of glass shattering. I check the side of me and Ethan's gone. I rub my eyes and look up. Ethan's in the kitchen pacing the floor. He swings open a cabinet and grabs more glass. He tosses them one by one on the floor.
"Ethan! What are you doing?" I yell
He doesn't stop. I get up and slowly walk over to him. I grab his arm and he stops. He doesn't turn to me he just pulls away.
"Ethan. What's wrong?" I speak softly
He turns to me and pushes me away. He doesn't hurt me he just lightly pushes me away. He pushes items on the counter away and they hit the ground. He walks over the the fridge and starts to grab stuff out and throw them on the ground. I run to him and grab his arm. I twist him around and look him in the eyes.
"Ethan stop!" I said
He grabbed me by the arms and pushes me back into the island in the middle of the room. I try to catch myself but I fail and my back hits the edge. I feel the pain raise across my back. Tears grow in my eyes. His grip is tight around my triceps and I feel them start to bruises under his hands. He looks me in the eyes and both of ours widen as my mouth slowly opens. He let's go of me slowly and glides his fingers through his hair. He looks away and walks back. He then held both hands at the sides of his head and turned. He walked to the end of the stairs and leaned against the wall. He slid down and began to cry into his hands. He bent his knees and cried. I pulled away from the counter and slowly slaked to him. I bent down and placed my hands on his knees. I never thought I would ever see him like this. He always seems so strong.
"Ethan?" I speak softly
He moved his hands from his face and looks up at me. His face is filled with confusion then he pulls me in.
"I'm so sorry." He whispers as he stops crying
"Ethan what happened?" I ask pulling away from him
He looks at my left arm and lightly places a hand around it.
"I didn't mean it. I'm sorry Grayson. I never meant to hurt you. I love you." He says looking up at me with tears in his eyes again
"I'm sorry." He says again
"Shhh. I know," I whisper. "Tell me what happened."
I take a seat by his side and looked at him waiting for him to speak.
"I don't really know. I just raged out. It's all to much Grayson. I just want it to be over." He says looking at me
"I know. Me too." I say placing my right hand on his left knee
He puts his hand over mine and I tuck mine under his. He laid his head on my shoulder and we sat there for a minute.
"Come on." I said getting up
"What?" He asked
"I want to take you somewhere." I said putting out my hand
He took it and pulled himself up. I inter twined my fingers in his and walked to the front door. He looked back at the kitchen and I gripped his hand a little tighter to get his mind off the mess and onto me. We walked outside and the cold breeze hit me. The moon light shined in my face. I closed the door behind us and we walked off the porch. A couple times on the walk he asked me where we were going but I refused to tell him. We reached the beach and I walked up the hill to my favorite spot. My safe place.
"Why did you bring me here?" He asks
"This is my safe place. This is where I go when I don't have you." I say
He smiles at me and pulls me in.
"You know I love you right?" He asks
"Yes. I love you too." I say
It feels good to say that. I love having someone who loves me back.
"I love you." He repeats
"I love you." I repeat back
"I love you." He says again
I smile and he pulls me in closer.
"I love it when you smile." He says smiling himself
He presses his lips against mine. Our lips move in sync then I pull away.
"I'm sorry I hurt you. It will never happen again. I never meant to hurt you." He says with his smile going away
"You said that already. I know it was an accident. I know baby. It's ok." I say
"It's not ok. Because of me you have more bruises then you already did. I'm sorry. It'll never be ok." He says pulling away and turning around
It was ok. He never meant it and I know that. Ethan would never EVER hurt me on purpose. I know that.
"Ethan it is ok. See I'll smile for you." I say walking back in front of him and smiling
He doesn't look at me.
"I can't be with someone who I might hurt. I can't trust myself with you." He says looking down
"Ethan what are you saying?" I ask
"I'm saying I can't be with you." He whispers
"Ethan you know it won't happen again. You love me." I say taking both his hands in mine
"What if I do hurt you again because I can't control myself? You wouldn't have anyone to turn to. You would have bruises everywhere. From school, from home, from me." He whispered the last part
"Ethan it's ok. We can work it out. I can help you." I say tightening my grip
"I can't Grayson. I love you to much to see you hurt by me. We have to break up." He says pulling away from me
My heart drops. The words I never wanted to hear slip from his mouth did.
"Over one break out?" I utter
"This has happened before. Many times ." he says
"Ethan. B- but I love you!" I say starting to feel the tears slip down my checks and my throat tightens
"I'm sorry G-Grayson." He says turning away and walking
"No ! Not now ! I need you Ethan! Please don't leave me! I love you!" I yell with my words having trouble coming out
He continues to walk as I began to cry.
"Ethan please don't leave me ! I have no where to go!"
"Go home." He says just loud enough for me to hear
I can't believe he just said that to me. He wants me to go home to my father like this at 8:00 p.m.
"Ethan. Please don't go." I plead one last time
I watch him disappear in the distance. Ethan please don't go. Not now. Not ever.
"Goodbye." I whisper to myself and fall to my knees
I cry into my hands for what feels like hours. Who knows it could have been 5 minutes, 15, 30. I don't know. All I can think about is Ethan. And where I'm going to stay tonight. I didn't think that would be our last kiss. Our second kiss was our last kiss.