Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

Chapter 35-- Let's Pretend My Tears Are Raindrops

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Chapter 35

     “Mom told me I had to apologize for being jealous and disrespectful.” Cassie told me, ebbing into the kitchen cautiously. I was texting a girl from Utah over my flapjacks and milk. I looked up from my phone and at Cassie.

     “Well, I appreciate the apology. You were being immature, I’ll admit it, but your apology is accepted.” Cassie smiled and smothered me with an unsuspected hug.

     “I can’t believe I was so horrible to you.” She mumbled into my shoulder. We hadn’t fought since Brandon’s diagnosis and we’d also grown considerably closet through the whole ordeal. “Derek really cares about you and I knew it, too. I was just jealous.” I pulled back from out hug, staring at her with awe.

     “Why does everyone always tell me that he cares about me?”

     “Because he does.” She said matter-of-factly.

     “But how do you know?” I asked.

     “I think you’re too blind to see it since you’re with him almost every second of the day, but,” She paused, stumbling on her words, “when you’re together…his face says it all. There’s just no one else out there for him. And I knew that, too, when I liked him. I just didn’t want to believe it.” As she spoke, she avoided eye contact and I knew her apology was meaningful.

     “Hey, Cas, you’re forgiven. Don’t stress it. Actually I was thinking of shopping today if you want to come along with me. You can even bring a friend if you want to.”

     “I would, but… Mom grounded me.”

     “Oh.” I said. “Never mind then.” We both laughed and shortly after, I pulled out the Scrabble board.

     For hours, we sat at the kitchen table playing Scrabble. Yeah, it was pathetic, but it was one of the happiest days I’d had. Derek provided escape, but my house was where I had to live and it’d been quite a while since I was happy with that fact. At around 3:00, my dad got home and instead of surrendering to his office like usual, he smiled and smooshed me in a big hug. “I love you, kid.”

     “I love you too, dad.” I responded, hugging him back even tighter.

     Cassie and I went back to playing our game of Scrabble until the doorbell rang. We glanced up from the board at the same time. “I’ll get it.” I stood up and Cassie followed me to the living room.

     When I opened the door, Derek stood on the welcome mat looking down at me.

     “Hey.” He said, a smile growing onto his face.

     “Hey…” I trailed like a stranger. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

     “Are you busy?” He threw another question back at me.

     “Actually,” I glanced at Cassie. “Yeah I am. I was just playing Scrabble.”

     Cassie smiled at me and shook her head. “No, no. You are fine, Sam. Go have fun.”

     “Are you sure?”

     “Yep.”

     I turned to Derek. “Whoops. I lied.” I said. “I guess I’m not doing anything.”

     “Oh, Samantha.” He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes playfully. I accidentally released a gasp of laughter and covered my mouth.

     “So what did you want?” I asked when I’d recovered. I glanced at Cassie from the corner of my eye and she got the hint. Behind me I heard her creeping back up the stairs to her room. Derek laughed and we continued our conversation.

     “Actually I was just wondering if you’d like to take a walk.” He said.

     “A walk?” I asked.

Derek’s POV

     I’d thought I was nervous on the walk over to Samantha’s, but it was nothing compared to the feeling I had after I’d gotten her to agree to go with me.

     We walked down Fawn Lane slowly, her hand in mine. She was warm like she always was. I let her talk, but was too nervous to be conventional. I responded with phrases like “Uh-huh,” “Yeah,” “Okay,” and “Definitely.” Sam seemed content, but even so, I was still worried about what her reaction would be to what I was going to tell her.

     I could picture it….

“Samantha,” I’d say. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah, anything.” She’d probably respond.

“And please, don’t get too upset over it.”

She’d laugh, not anticipating what I had to tell her, and then I’d say it.

“I love you.”

And if everything went according to plan, she’d reply with four words of gratification—“I love you too.”

     I knew it was a long shot and that I was stupid, risky, and moving too fast, but I knew Rob was right.

     “Are you listening?” Samantha finally asked. I’d known she was staring at me, but I wasn’t exactly sure why.

     “Yeah. Well, no.” I told her honestly. “I’m a little preoccupied.”

     She laughed sweetly under her breath. “Yeah, I can tell. So how about we talk a little more about you and a little less about me.”

     “What do you want to know.”

     “Everything.” She responded broadly. “How about we start with why you like me.”

     “I wouldn’t know how to begin if you asked me that question.”

     “O-okay.” She stuttered. “The how come everyone seems to have opinions about our relationship?”

     “Which opinions?” I wondered curiously.

     “Well, whenever I bring you up people will say that they can see how much you care for me whenever you’re around me. And that they think we’ve got something special.” I was appalled at her words.

     “That’s because we do.” I murmured.

     Samantha looked up into my eyes and I grabbed her hands and pressed them to my chest.

     “Can I tell you something, Samantha?” I slowly said the words.

     “You can tell me anything you want to.” She responded, just like I’d hoped for.

     “I hope you don’t get upset over it, but—”

     Sam’s cell phone starting ringing and she reluctantly pulled it from her pocket and broke our intense gaze. I only allowed her to free one hand and I felt disappointed that the mood had been ruined and the conversation broken. She glanced at her phone and then back at me.

     “It comes up as St. Mary’s hospital….from Utah.”