Prologue
Here or not
I see bright lights and then my head hits the window. Everything goes blurry. I hurt everywhere. I can not make any thing out. Someone is screaming, and then I realize it is me. What happened? Where is everyone? I can hear sirens coming. Why am I in so much pain? Will I be all right? Where is mom and Clarissa. Are they all right? A million different questions are running through my head right now and I canon not answer even one of them. Suddenly my mind goes blank.
I see a light at the end of a tunnel. I see my dad still in his war uniform without a scratch on his body. Where am I? Am I in Heaven? I run towards my father yelling his name. I miss him so much. He is staring right at me with a great big frown across his face. Why he is not Excited to see me? I finally reach him. He does not pull me into an embrace like I expected after not seeing him for 3 years. He just stand there stairs at me. After a few moments, he hugs me and begins to speak quietly into my left ear.
“You need to go back they need you”, my dada tells me quietly.
“But Daddy I want you”, I replied.
“They need you more then I do”, he tells me.
I feel like I am being pulled back away from him. Everything is going blurry. I suddenly realize it is like I am floating above my own body. It is like I am floating? How is this possible? I am watching my body as a team of three paramedics lifts me onto a stretcher and begins working on my lifeless body.
I can see my mom lying on the road in front of the can in a pool of blood. She was not wearing a seat belt, when we crashed. Will she make it? Clarissa is trapped in her car seat in the back of the car. She is blue and looks as if she is barley breathing. It hurts me to see them barly clinging to life. What about me am I still alive? Another, Ambulance pulls up and Seven more paramedics arrive and they to begin to try to save my mom. Even thought know it is to late. I think they know to. Someone states that she is gone and then they move on to Clarissa they break open the door and an older woman, with gray hair, very gently takes Clarissa out of the car. She is still alive and they secure her, tiny air way and put her into the ambulance. A tall and thin woman, in a uniform says that she thinks, Little Clarissa will make it.
What if I do not live? How will she have? There is no one except for me left? Dad is gone. Mom is gone. Am I alive? Or am I dead? I really want to live because if I do not. Clarissa will have no one. I am all she has left.
