"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome you to the 16th annual Jerusalem Cup!" The crowd roared as the commentator announced the race. "All this horse racing stuff is a pile of donkey faeces," shouted the bartender as he cleaned a glass, "I mean, all we're doin' is watching some bloody animals do the same thing they do every bloody day!"
"Yeah but it's cooler because they're racing eachother and it gives me an excuse to plead for more money off my parents. One day I'm gonna be a millionaire because of these 'bloody animals.'" This statement came from Jason Mandellas. He'd been apart of the Jerusalum Cup Club for almost two days now and he'd already felt as if he'd been apart of it all his life.
"Whatever you say mate, I'm just hear to spit in the glasses and give you beverages from them." Several 'Ewws' came from the back corner where a group of women were situated. "Oh God, now I know why my whiskey tasted like tobacco." Cried one of the women.
"Oh yeah, sorry 'bout that."
"From left to right we have, Dirtquake, Phart Slap..."
"Guys shut up, it's about to begin!" Bellowed Jason in delight whilst gulping down his fifth beer for the evening.
"Fuzzlefluff, Bolling Paul, Muler and last but not least... Dave." As soon as the final horse was announced the eruption of cheers and applause trudged to a holt, except for an eldery man screaming "WOOHOO, GO DAVE, YEAH!"
"Aaaallllrighty then! Before we get this race on the road - a word from our sponsors;"
In the background the electronic scoreboard lit up with a colourful advertisement - "Introducing, the iBrick 6, the revolutionary new phone that will change technology forever. The key features of the iBrick 6 are the slim width - 1.5cm; the portable lightweight exterior only 3.85kg; and the longest battery charge yet! A strong 43 minutes. When you choose a phone, choose Brick. Think indestructible, think Brick.
"Thank you Brick inc. for that and lets begin! Racers, start your horses!" Several 'neighs' were heard in the background. "Take your mark, get set! GO!
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Thank you guys for reading the first chapter of Fifty Bales of Hay. This is not meant to be a serious book so no h8, just r8 8/8 m8.
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Fifty Bales of Hay
AdventureOne lonely gambling-ridden alcoholic, Jason Mandellas is known all around town for his love of horses. Every night he'd come down to the local bar to watch the races. After one day being rejected by his parents for his constant plead for money, he f...