The Hospital Room (Cashley & Jindy)

Chapter 6

~Ashley's POV~

It'd been around a day since CC had been taken away, we had no idea if he'd be brought back or not, but I missed him, I was scared for him.

It felt weird in the room with that one empty bed just sitting there, left how CC had left it. None of us could bring ourselves to fix it, make the bed.

The doctor that we had never came back, but his arm had been pretty torn up... I didn't think CC would have been able to do that, but well... he did do that.

And he tried to kill me.

That was still sinking in, but not well. CC, the adorable boy that lay across the room from me, usually, had tried to kill me.

Except I need to remember that it wasn't really him, at least not in my eyes. That was the people that spoke to him, the people that he saw. Technically, they made him do it.

I guess CC really should have been put in a psyche ward, not in here with all of us. Not that we're much different... we're all suffering in different ways so...

Really, I should be in a psyche ward, I'm crazy... crazy dangerous, useless, that's what they told me, that's what they all told me. And maybe it was true, it probably is.

I'm only still living because really it's not humane to kill people.

You're only allowed to kill an animal if they're suffering, but not people when they're suffering, not in most cases anyways.

I can't be cured from this... bi-polar disorder and other strange things that make me fucked up in the head.

I didn't really even know what was wrong with me; all that I knew was that I never felt good. Never really, like yeah I had ridiculously high moments but that never let me forget everything; everything that haunted my mind daily.

I hated my family, so much. I was glad that they hadn't come to visit me. Only Jake and Andy had had anyone to visit them, and that had either been their parents or their grandparents.

No one came for me except the nurses with my medication or the psychiatrist. None of my old sort of 'friends' either. Guess they heard I'd gone mad, guess it had spread like wild fire after... yeah.

That wasn't my fault though, they'd set me off, I didn't mean to. They knew what my temper was like... maybe they wouldn't be how they are if they hadn't made me mad. If they hadn't called me those names... those untrue names.

Lies, all lies.

                        Every one of them lied to me.

                                                                                    I hate them.

                                                                                                             I hate their guts.

So yeah... all fake smiles and trying to keep my temper at bay for me. I'm not allowed to crazy, not allowed to be myself.

Maybe I'm that way because my mom drank when she was pregnant, because she smoked. She dropped me on my head as a baby, she would forget to feed me. She neglected me.

My father was never in, and he always smelled horrible, which I now knew was the smell of sex.

But then again, my mom always smelt of alcohol, she just drank and drank, I hope she drinks herself into a coma someday, and that's what she deserves.