-Erin-
The black leather seat squeaked against the fabric of my jeans. I couldn't help notice how obnoxious the rip was on my knees as I tried to avoid the way James was looking at the candidate in front of him.
From the moment he stepped out of his office in his black tailored suit, his attention didn't stray from her. Five minutes had passed and that ugly emotion of jealousy festered to defeat. He was looking at her in every way he doesn't with me. With desire.
She was naturally beautiful; with full lips, blue eyes, and a rich olive complexion. She radiated class, carrying herself with the confidence she was sucking out of me with every second I looked at her in the fitted dress that hugged every curve on her body.
Stacey Winford. Twenty-three. Socialite. Daughter to real estate tycoon. Currently attending Columbia University.
I didn't bother to continue reading after that. Men like James didn't end up with me. He'll be waiting at the end of the aisle for the woman the world has already dubbed Mrs. Matthews.
Expectations and pressures end with me getting heartbroken. Again. I've played this game with Drew, and no matter how much he loved me, I was never enough. His love couldn't block every dirty look and comment... couldn't make him feel less ashamed. Less of an outsider who lacked acceptance.
He rejected me. Then betrayed me.
The closer he got to becoming a lawyer, the further he retreated into the closet. The more secretive our relationship became. The more he pushed me away. The more he had to prove to his Harvard friends he was straight.
Familiar cold dark blue eyes turned and met mine.
Then they softened slightly, a look of intensity burning behind them. One that penetrated my very soul. Searching and questioning answers I couldn't figure out.
I know James isn't Drew. He was the type of man that didn't waiver, strong and confident, unabashed to the opinion of others. He stood on his throne and people bowed down to him. If I was here, it's because he's aware of the consequences and is willing to take that risk to his empire.
However, I'm still a pessimistic person by nature that needs to be reassured with pretty words and not my own imagination. I promised myself after Drew that I wasn't going to go down that road full of insecurities, jealousy, and self hate by falling for a 'curious' man. Yet here I am, still as naive as ever, hoping for the best.
"Erin," James leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. Oh my god. "Why did I have my driver pick you up from Bellevue hospital Centre? Are you alright?"
Flustered, I picked up my Red Bull and stood. "I had clinical in the paediatrics ward. And yes, it's as depressing as it sounds. I'm fine with dealing with teenagers, adults, and the elderly. But when it comes to kids..." I sighed and flipped my white cap backwards so I could see better. "I know you've been interviewing people all day, but did you have a chance to read my text? You know, about the NDA?"
"Yes. I had a copy faxed over. Let's discuss this my office," James murmured, placing his hand on my hip and nudged me gently. I followed, ignoring the judgmental eyes I felt crawl down my body as she put on her coat. "I'll see you next week, Stacey."