I had good friends that didn't know I was ill , a boyfriend who made me feel beautiful and grades that were nothing but average .But none of them new how fucked up I really was.
School ended for the year , something I was actually happy about.Swimming, parties, late nights with friends. It all seemed so perfect. I spent the first few months going to the beach with friends, swimming ,tanning, loving it all. Then one day I came home and my mom told me were were moving 3 hours away from where we were. Moving definitely wasn't something that was new to me 7 schools in 7 years, soon to be 8 . I was sad to leave another group of friends but when I did ,I realized they weren't as great as I though they were. Yet again when I was gone the rumors started, saying I was flat chested, a lesbian, never liked them, that I was a bitch and a whore, even though they couldn't be more wrong.The next year I started in a new town scared and alone, afraid to make friends because I didn't want to be betrayed again. When I finally did none of them knew everything about me and I hoped they never would. At 9 years old I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and would need to take insulin injections for the rest of my life, Age 11 I became allergic to gluten and couldn't eat anything containing wheat (cakes, cookies, pancakes), At age 12 my mom made me so depressed with all of her shit that I wanted to die. At age 13 I found someone who told me he loved me and made me feel wanted, but I still can't sleep because of all the thoughts running through my mind, "What if he's joking and he doesn't really care. What if when he find out my secrets he'll hate me. What if they'll all hate me. What if.What if.What if.
