Dear Lonely and Very Loveless Men

Dear lonely and very loveless Men,

Hi! I have a story that will likely make you lonely men cry! Can you guess who I am by the end of my letter? I am always around girls and am often with them in the bathroom. If you get my drift that is. They always touch me and put their hands on me especially when they are wet. they always get me hot and really it feels great helping them. I have more work to d now, you know these hands are always busy.

Your Completely-Non-Sexual Friend,

The Hand-Dryer