ease » antoine griezmann

zèro

ANTOINE SIGHS AS HE SITS ON HIS CHILDHOOD ROOM. The city lights bright into his blue eyes as he stares at the window in front of him. He is not sure when he'll be back to Madrid. All Antoine knows is he took the first flight he could find that was far away from Spain and back to his fatherland.

For all he wanted was peace. He wanted time to himself. He wanted solicitude so he could fight his demons, but he knows they are selfish and they always win, so he just wanted time so he could cry himself to sleep without the worry of his eyes red and puffy the next day, without the constant need of picking his head up and pretend he knows what is he doing with his life.

"I'll be fine on my own, I'll be fine if I can breathe." Is the mantra he chants in his head almost every minute of the day, but he knows that's not true. He knows he'll be fine when he finds his home, not an empty apartment where he rests his bones back in Spain or France, but where he can lay down and his mind would be at ease. When silence won't mean his thoughts will consume his sanity. When he stops feeling homesick of a place he doesn't know where it is.

He'll be fine when the simple things are back in his life. A nice two story house with a front backyard and a white picket fence. Back home where the lights are brighter and every road is a trip down memory lane. Back home where there's a small church he used to go every Sunday and every year is measured on the pantry wall. Back home where life just passes by and people is the same as he can remember, just older.

Back home where he doesn't have to train so hard every day and fly to all this places, only to be incarcerated on a hotel room until game night. Where the whole world stops watching every one of his moves, expecting to see the moment his empire falls down to his feet. Where the weight of his team isn't on his shoulders, where he finally stops blaming himself for every mistake and learns from them.

Antoine never thought he would say this, but he is afraid of the life he is living. Of the life he dreamed and fought for so long. Of the empire he is building. No one told him reaching his dreams of becoming the football star of his country, the financial stability, the fame would bring such misery to his life. No one told him how lonely this life style would be.

But deep down he knew. That being talented and not knowing what to do with the success was very common. He had seen it so many times with so many of his friends, but he never thought it would happen to him. It was all so foreign to him, so distant, he felt frustrated.

Every single person he met told him that all of his training and sacrifices would be enough, but they didn't told him it would feel this empty. They didn't told him something would be missing, some piece of a 10,000 puzzle. And they certainly didn't told him how much of a shocker it would be.

No one told poor Antoine this depression wasn't his fault. No one told him home would be a small house in Madrid with a beautiful brunette sleeping in his arms. No one told him her touch would be his lullaby. No one told him life could be so beautiful.

Instead she showed it all to him. After all actions spoke louder than words.

//
I'm so excited for this.

I thought I should publish the prologue before
the Mexico vs US match  so my heart can have time
to break or put itself back together
as the matches progresses.

As always, English is not my first language
so I apologize for any grammar mistake.