Troyler hits Paris

Moving on

---Troye's POV---
It had been four months since the thing with the let had happened. I still have feelings for him though, but I would never ever give him a second chance. I don't care what he says to me, I will never have feelings so strong that they pull me towards him.

I still cried often about it, just remembering hurt me. It pained me to think about it, sometimes it made me feel worthless, and ugly. It almost drove me to suicide. Almost. I hadn't told anyone about my attempt at suicide and I never will.

Part of my coping mechanism for getting over Tyler was drinking. And lots of it. I would come home early in the morning, completely drunk. I had been so drunk, that there were a couple of times where I want able to get out of bed, causing me to not be able to film videos for my channel. Tyler had ruined my life, and still was.

When I woke up it was noon. I should've been hungry, but like lately, I hadn't been.

I plugged in my headphones and listened to music.

*ping*

Zoe just texted me! Yay!

Zoe: hey guys! Alfie and I have decided to rent out a beach house in Florida shortly after Christmas. Anyone wanna come? We're exchanging gifts!

I looked up to see who else she had invited. Caspar, Oli, Joe, Joey, Ricky, Connor, Louise, Louis, me, Tyler- oh maybe not. He always has to rain on my parade.

Troye: sorry Zoe, I'm going to have to pass on this one.

I wish Tyler hadn't been invited. I wish Tyler hadn't hurt me like that. I miss him, but I can't go back. I can't even be friends with him. He ruined our friendship, and quite possibly my friendship with others. If he kept getting invited to the things I was getting invited to, I would keep declining the invitation.

*ping*

Zoe had texted me on private chat.

Zoe: I know why you said no to going to the beach house. Call me. Please.

I could never decline talking to Zoe. Anyways, I hadn't talked to her in months.

I called Zoe and she picked up on the first ring.

"Troye Sivan. I know why you said you wouldn't come. Have you even talked to him since LA?"

"No........"

"I really think you should come. Alfie and I have it all planned out. We'll put you up in the attic so then you can be away from Tyler."

I winced at his name.

"Fine. I'll go. But I'm not talking to him. Under any circumstances."

"Alright then. At least buy him a Christmas present!"

"Fine."

"And not a cheap five dollar one!"

"Fine."

"Okay, goodbye.

"Bye, Zoe."

Since it was only 1pm, I decided to go out and start my Christmas shopping. I should've finished it days ago, considering I was leaving in three days. Even though I don't celebrate Christmas, I still think it'll be fun.

When I got back, dinner was ready and on the table. I suddenly got really hungry, like I hadn't eaten in days. Which I hadn't. Maybe going to the beach house would be a good thing.