Promises That You'll Never Have to Keep

...Kurai...

"Soooo boring....",I mumble as my thumbs twiddle themselves.I have been on this train for hours now,considering that I got on it early in the morning.I've had almost nothing to do this whole time.I almost wish some train attendant lady would come talk to me.I'm so bored!To make it better,me being me,I accidentally decided to hold onto my bag of clothes instead of my books and journals.

My eyes danced out of one of the train's windows.Few stars were visable this night,and I could not find the moon.Clouds were rolling in peacefully.Although,I doubt they'll stay that way.I felt a storm coming,a big one.It'll probably last for a couple of days,despite what the weather man tells everyone.Why do people believe that guy anyways? I mean,he lies all year around.Yet americans put their faith into his hands.Yeah,I know,I rant about stupid things.Sue me.

A small hum soon turns into a little tune,escaping my pale lips."Anata wa ima Doko de nani wo shite imasu ka?...hmm..."I smiled at the small words.It was a nice song that I learned to love long ago.That line in particular means 'Where are you now,What are you doing?Are you in this endless sky?'I memorized the song by heart a few years ago,in english and japanese.The person who had written it was...very important to me.I wish I could go back.I wish...No.I can't think of that.She's gone.She left.I don't care.I can't care.

That was the past,it's now only the past.Now I'm headed to a new life,no matter how much I wish it was different.I hate the thought of leaving like I am,but being only '15' I have no choice.I'm going to live with some rich bastards.I have never even met them.All I know is that the wife is unable to have children,so she adopts kids instead.All I'm going to be is a substitute for her dream child.I already don't like her.Filling her dreams with other people.Not giving them a choice.I'm sure she has already adopted a couple of others,so why am I being given to her too?I hate it!It's not right.I know life isn't fair,but...

"Ima made watashi no kokoro wo umete ita mono ushinatte hajimete kizuita",I contimued to hum,trying to calm myself.My throat started burning,my eyes reddening.My voice was soft and barely audiable.

Then I had an idea.I decided I am going to o find my amusing stuff."This should be fun",I sigh as I remove myself from my chair."Now let's see....where do they keep the bags...?",I asked myself.My mind streached as I allowed my sight to expand.A couple of carts down I saw a small cluster of bags.There was probably a lot of them scattered around the train."Hmm..."My legs wobbled by the movement of the train,,but I continued walking.I heard many voices as I walked.A man was on a buisness trip,and on his way home to his family of four.A couple was going on a vacation,to somewhere unknown to me.A single mom was trying to quiet her fidgety child.

People can be wierd.I don't think I'll ever understand why,or even how.But then again,I don't think I'll ever have to.

My thoughts had wandered off long before I reached my destination.I had almost compleatly forgot what I was doing when a woman bumped into me.She appered to be quite a bit taller than me.Around mid twenties.She smiled at me,"I'm sorry,sir."She looked at the rest of the car.Noticing a once filled seat now emptied.Her gaze returned to me,sheepishly."Can I help you with something?"

I raised an eyebrow,almost insultingly,as I looked at her.She bared dark brown hair with matching eyes and what appeard to be a uniform."There's nothing a person of your...level...who could do anything for me."My crimson eys narrowed and cold.No room for the jokingly smile she hoped I would hold.Her smile faded,"Level?",she demanded,not in the slightest bit amused.Unlike me.

I suppose I should have made this known before.The first thing anyone should know about me,and yet,the last thing they ever figure out. I enjoy toying with people,you could say.I'm interested in their reactions to certain things,and I dance around their atittudes.Some would call mecruel,in the least.I've made more than enough enimies with my little hobby.I guess I can call it that.Although,I don't know why.Everyone does it.Everyone tessts the limits of those around them,in order to see where they stand.It's nessisary.If we didn't do this,more than enough people would be pissed off.The only difference in my doing and everyone elses is,I'm doing it for fun.I don't intend to stop once the line has been drawn and acknowledged.I push and pain.Yet,I don't just hurt.I've made people happy,too.But kind acts are not realized as much as cruel ones.

"What does that mean?",she asked with a twitching eyebrow and strained smile.She probably has a temper,and doesn't want to loose her job.If that was the case I wondered how long she could hold the job.Aside from me,she'd meet a lot of jerks with this job.When I just continued to look at her in the same manner,she continued,"Are you implying you're better than me,kid?"I could tell she ment all of the emphesis that she poored into the word 'kid'.

"I'm 'implying' that you are unable to help me.I belive I already said that.",after my words were out I pushed past her.Going though motion sensor doors and entering a new car alltogether.My pace didn't quicken,nor did it slow, as I passed though rows of seats.I no longer listened into the passed people's personal life.I was already bored with it.

A small smile danced on my lips as I sat back down in my original seat.Black bag in hand.Inside it lay brilliant books and stuff for my own writings.I was glad to be sitting once more.I have been called lazy for my lack of movement before,and I'd never denied it.My hand gracefully unzipped the cold,main zipper.My eyes holding a bright glow unlike before.It was joyful.Something my face mostly hid.I fished inside the bag for a few agonizing seconds.

Out I pulled my personal copy of 'The Looking Glass Wars'.I had recently begun to read the twisted trilogy based off of Alice in wonderland.I found myself loving the books a plentiful amount.I flipped through the pages.Smelling the kind sent of books and feeling the crisp pages.I had wished I could do that forever.Endulging myself in the ink lettering.Loosing myself into the stoies.I had always wished that,accually.It was a paradise for me.Of course,my joy has always been interupted at the peak of happiness.A voice sliced through my smile with ease.

"Is there anything I can get you sir?",She kindly asked.I had come to the conclusion that the only reason I could hear a smile was the fact she had not looked at me yet.Once her eyes shifted down at me her tone was hard to hold."Oh.It's you."I glared up at her.She simply had to bother me,it seemed.

"I already told you,I do not need the help of an idiot.",My words were cold and harsh.Compleatly unfeeling.I had no intention of being nice to her anymore.I had decided in seconds what her punishment would be.Ruining my rare good mood called for such a thing.I would break her.Make her compleatly loose her temper.I was going to have fun playing with her emotions.

I'm wasn't usually so easily annoyed.But this was a rather botherson time,and a good mood was something I would consider special.Ruining it would make my poor mood worsen greatly.She was just an idiot.

"I'd shut up if I were you kid.",she threatened."You aren't me.Pitty,isn't it?",I challanged. "I wouldn't think that for a second." "Is that any way to treat passangers?The serves here seems to suck." "Pitty" "Is everyone here as simple minded and bitchy as you?" "I'm afraid not"

I was tired of the childish arguing.I was ready to find a wound of hers.Any wound.Anything I could use to hurt her,at least anger her.I looked her over as we continued bickering.She had a fading tan.That's when I saw it.The ring mark on her left hand.She was supposed to be married?Wonderfull.

"I can see why an atittude like your's would chase a man away.Did he finnaly have enough of your shit?",I dared to say.Her eyes widened and mouth gaped open.Like a dying fish.No responce was given.Once she somewhat regained composure,she stormed off with an atittude.

I pulled out ablack vile,containing a iron sented thick liquid.