It has been two days since Devon fell down the stairs. Both James and Devon refused to talk about the unfortunate event and the disease that has taken Devon’s body. James refuses to talk about it, or hear anything that implies Devon’s sickness and possible death. If I keep thinking that this is just a terrible nightmare or just not true, then it could go away, James thought. It was immature, but for him it was hope.
Devon was quietly leaning on her bed watching the television in front of her. Meanwhile, James was tapping on his laptop, trying to finish some work. He took some freelance consultancy work, just to keep up with the hospital bills.
Devon looked at her husband, she felt guilty. I am so sorry, she whispered in the air. She does not want to take him away from his comfortable life and put him into this kind of misery.
Devon shifted her attention back to the television, I must think positive. Positive thoughts attract positive results, she told herself. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman’s face was displayed on the screen. They were talking about the list of things that they want to do before they die, both of them in their hospital beds.
“I want to do that,” Devon said aloud.
James looked at his wife and asked, “Do what, baby?”
“I want to have my bucket list,” Devon answered.
“A bucket list?”
“Yeah,” Devon nodded. “A list of things that I want to accomplish or do, before I die.”
James felt that familiar pang again in his chest. Before I die, he felt that the words were being etched into his heart.
“You’re not going to die baby,” James said reassuringly. “We would look for the best medical care out there and possibly a cure.”
“We both know that is impossible,” Devon countered. They did some research on her disease and found out that there is still no cure for ALS.
“But we both saw that there are people with ALS who lived for ten, twenty years or more,” James said hopefully.
Devon smiled sadly. “James, I could not be one of them.”
James sighed. “Don’t lose hope, okay?”
“I am not losing hope, baby,” Devon said. “I just want to do things. Let’s think of it as a celebration of life.”
James looked at Devon, intently. She still looks that healthy wife he walked down the aisle with a few months ago. But there were dark circles under her eyes. She has been sleeping, but her sleep has been shallow, just making her more tired every day. Her smile barely reached her eyes anymore.
James would give everything to make things different. He sat besides Devon on the bed and pulled his wife into his embrace.
“I wish, I was the one who’s sick, not you,” James whispered to Devon’s ear.
“It’s not going to make things easier,” Devon answered. “I will be in the same pain as you are. We both hate losing each other.”
***
James nodded in agreement.
James was walking in the hospital corridor. He has just paid the hospital bills, Devon will be discharged in the afternoon. The hospital bills made a huge dent in their savings, Devon already thought about that. James saw her talking to a colleague in the university, earlier.
“What was that about,” James asked, sensing some relief in Devon’s face.
“She took over some of my classes,” she said. “Also, I asked her to file monetization of my leaves. It would help us financially.”
