Our friendship from the start

The first month

Some people think that everything happens for a reason, I kind of think that. My 2nd year of speech I met someone very close to me at the Prior Lake speech meet, on the 7th of February. I approached him because he had 4 monsters and the night before I didn't get much sleep. I asked "Since you have so many monsters can I have one?"

He responded by saying "No, but when you want some you can have a drink." After he said that I took a drink. Then got yelled at for leaving a river, now I never leave rivers. In the 3rd round he and I were in the same room. That is when I realized something is happening here. I couldn't tell if it was going to hurt me or if it was going to make me the happiest girl in the world. From then on we hung out at all of the speech meets. The first time we texted was at the Belle Plaine conference meet. Some Jordan people were sitting at the tables in between rounds talking about the most random stuff ever. It was between 3rd round and finals. I didn't get into finals, but he did so I went to go watch him. That season I almost memorized his speech because he got into finals so often. When I got to the room he was in I was crying because I didn't make it to finals. He saw I was crying when he looked around the room to see who was there for him. Then he gave me sad eyes and a "do you want a hug" gesture. I didn't say anything I just looked up at him. He knew I needed a hug, so he got up and came over to me and gave me the biggest hug ever and told me "You will do better next meet!"

He did so well that round, even tho he got 5th, I knew from that moment forward I would go to every single final round he got into, which was all of them them the whole season. Going home from the conference we sat together and talked the whole way home. We started to talk during the week in school. Before I knew it we were giving each other hugs between 3rd and 4th hour, almost every single day. We had 4-5 hour phone calls at 2 o'clock in the morning. Within the calls we would laugh and then not talk for 5 minutes because he was doing homework. He even told me how much of a good kisser he was, but I didn't know if he was or wasn't. Our conversations got deeper and deeper as time went on. We started helping each other with relationship issues, which probably wasn't the best idea on my part. I always get jealous because I help him through so much and I love him.

Then speech sections came up fast that year. That day I had so many emotions running through my body all at the same time. Finally 2:30 came so I could leave and go to MPA to compete in drama for the first time ever. He went to his duo rounds and I went to my drama rounds. When postings came for finals I didn't get in, no shocker there, but he didn't make it to finals. I saw all color drain from his face and tears well up in his eyes. I was one of the first people to hug him, after he found out. When he calmed down we went to watch the duo finals, it got him to cheer up so I was happy. Finally awards started, I sat next to him and some of his friends. He was messing with the ring his grandma gave him. I had never actually seen the ring. So, I took his ring from him and since it was a Friday he didn't get it back until Monday. But on the bus ride home I asked him "Do you remember what you teased me about the most when we first started talking?' he looked so clueless so I add "About you and how good of a kisser you are?'"

When I said that it clicked and he said "Yeah, I remember that why?"

I replied with "Well since that day you said that I was curious how good of a kisser you actually are. Therefore do you think we could kiss?"

He looked at me and smiled. Then said "I guess I do owe you at least that, don't I?"

That bus ride home was the best of the season. I "fell asleep" on his shoulder and he just moved me closer to him so I could be more comfortable. I could not stop smiling. After what felt like forever we got back to the school. He and I walked out to his car and drove to my house. When we got back to my house we both got out of the car. He walked up to me and lifted my face towards his and he started leaning in to kiss me. I close my eyes and enjoy the moment, because I didn't know if it would happen again. I soon after found this quote that explains how I felt in that moment and how I still feel to this day.

"When you kissed me I realized that maybe existing wasn't such a bad thing if I got to be with you."

The weeks following that I was as happy as I could be. Then everything came crashing down all at once. I soon found out that he was so mad at me he couldn't stand to talk to me. It was about the first week in May when my life made a complete 360. I lost almost everyone I cared about and the guy I was in love with, and still am to this day, didn't want anything to do with me. That week I got kicked out of gym and I had a breakdown in Practice room C. No matter how many times I re-read the text messages between us I couldn't settle with not talking to him ever again. I kept texting him asking if we could talk and got nothing back from him. May 15, 2015, Pops concert, was hard for me. I got to see him so much that night I cried and couldn't stop. During the slideshow the song "See you again" played. I believe with 100% of my heart that, that night was going to be the night I would ever see him again. However after the final song I walked off stage and started crying my eyes out. I saw him walk down the hallway and hug others who were crying. In that moment we made eye contact and right away looked down. Before I knew it he and I were hugging each other. He said "I don't break promises I make."

I just hugged him so much tighter and cried even harder then ever because in that moment I knew I had him back for good. We both stayed after to strike the pop concert stage set up. By then school was almost done and graduation was coming up quickly. I began to cry every single day just thinking about how many people I was about to lose, including him. When graduation came I could hardly play my bass clarinet because I was crying so much. That summer was one of the best summer I've had so far. He and I hung out a lot, we started to grow closer and closer together. I forgot about everything while I was with him. I forgot the fact that he was leaving for college in August, and that I wouldn't get to see him as often anymore. When the day came he left without saying goodbye. I was crushed the one thing in this world that made me happy was gone. I had to keep myself happy some way, but I didn't know how. I still miss him like crazy.

The first time I saw him after he left was at a football game. Believe me when I saw him I got up as fast as I could and hugged him so tightly. That day was happy but sad as well. During history I started crying because he was bringing his girlfriend down as well. But I forgot all of that when I saw him. All I cared about was the fact that I got a type of hug I didn't get from anyone else besides him. If we were ever to get together we would be the perfect couple because he's just that much taller then me. Now that he's gone I can't go without thinking about him, along with crying about the memories we had together. He is one of the most important people in my life. He has taught me that if I want people to stay in my life I have to be myself not anyone else.