Troyler hits Paris

Its not Worth Trying

---Tyler's POV---
These past couple months without Troye have been brutal. I haven't slept much, and when I do it's fitful. I barely ever eat, and have gone to the hospital 3 times now because I've passed out and Korey had found me unconscious. I almost never shower, and I've only made 4 YouTube videos since. I always think about that night. I feel terrible about it.

I miss him so much. I still love him. I keep texting him, calling him, skyping him. But he never picks up. I wouldn't either, if Troye had done that to me. But the thing is, he wouldn't. He would never do something so cruel.

I really want him back. I want to love him unconditionally, I want to kiss him passionately, I want to hug him tightly, I want to spend endless hours on tumblr, I want to see him smile with his teeth. I just want to be around him.

If I can't love him again, I just want to be friends with him. I want to be the way we were before our relationship, I'm just my sure how to do that.

When I got the text from Zoe, asking about the beach house I got really excited because Troye was invited. But then I saw that he declined. I was crushed. He probably said no because of me.

I texted Zoe back saying I was in. If Troye didn't want to be there, then so what? Maybe this would cheer me up a bit.

///time skip 2 days///
*ping*

Zoe texted!

Zoe: just a reminder, we are exchanging gifts as a Christmas thing.

Tyler: okay! Thanks boo!

Zoe: oh and Tyler, please buy a present for Troye. I know you might not want to, and that it might be uncomfortable, but please be civil and buy him one!

Tyler: I didn't know he was coming! He said no on text though!

Zoe: I convinced him to come. Look Tyler, I know you miss him. That's why I invited him. I miss the old Troye and the old Tyler. And nobody can have the old you'd without you two being friends.

Tyler: what do you mean the old Troye?

Zoe: I guess since you haven't spoken with him or skyped him lately you wouldn't know. He isn't eating, isn't taking care of himself, he's been drinking more, he's just not himself.

What?!? But, why? I thought he was done with me! I thought he didn't miss me. Maybe it was family issues, or something else. Not me.

Tyler: why wouldn't he be himself?

Zoe: because he misses you...

Tyler: but why! After what I did to him! Why would he miss me?!

Zoe: because he hasn't gotten over you yet. No matter what you could ever do to him, he would still love you. Just maybe not enough to go past the friend level again. I don't think he could ever trust you enough to be in a relationship.

That really stumped me. I needed to find something to do to make him my friend again.

The rest of the day I was plotting ideas. I was going to make Troye Sivan my best friend again. Even if it was the last thing I did. And if he didn't want to be friends again, it would be the death of me.

///time skip (arriving at the beach house)///

On the ride over to the beach house, Connor and I didn't speak because I was to nervous. I was so scared about Troye's reaction to seeing me. What it would be like to live in the same house for two weeks.

When Connor and I arrived we were welcomed with a great big group hug from everyone, including Troye. Granted, he was closer to Connor than me, but still.

"Let's exchange gifts!" Zoe said.

Everyone grabbed their gifts for
everyone.

"Okay, this is how it will work. One person will stand up and place their gifts for everyone in front of them, then we continue around the circle until everyone has given each of their gifts out. Then we will all open them at the same time! Okay? Okay!"

Marcus stood up and placed his gifts in front of everyone, then Naomi, then Louise, then Zoe, then Caspar, then Troye, then Oli, then Joe, then Connor, then me.

I was surprised when Troye placed a gift in front of me. I had bought one for him but I didn't expect him to buy one for me. Troye seemed as equally surprised when I placed one in front of him.

"Okay! Everyone start opening their gifts!"

Everyone was opening cards and gifts, and exchanging thank you's.

Troye and I happened to have opened each other's gifts at the same time. I looked up at him about to say thank you, and he looked as if he was about to do the same. Instead we both looked away, silently thanking each other.

This was going to be a lot more awkward than I thought. And it had only been half an hour.

By the time we had all finished opening our gifts we were all getting pretty tired.

One by one we all went to our rooms. I wasn't sharing a room, which I didn't mind. Troye was on the complete opposite side of the house from me.

I was trying to fall asleep when I got really thirsty. I decided I would go get a drink from the kitchen.

I walked out of the room and down to the kitchen. When I got there, I saw a slender figure slouching over a beer. I instantly recognized the figure.

Troye.

We were alone for the first time in months. What would happen? Would nothing happen?

A/N:
Ooohhhhhh!!! What's gonna happen?!?! Oh, wait! I know! But I'm not gonna tell you! I'm so mean💜💚💙

Just so y'all know, when I write I don't think about it first. I don't hit notes down. I don't brainstorm. I just write. I literally write it and publish it. Okay, well maybe I check it over once but still.

Please keep reading! Please comment if you like it so far!