Fixing Up Valerie

Getting Fit? Not Really. - 11

A week later - Monday
I'm sorta glad I can finally come out of my cave, I wasn't grounded from Carol or anything, it's just I wasn't in the mood. Although at the same time I'm not in the mood to go and confront people. Carol says she hasn't heard anybody talk about me just Caleb constantly visiting the office with questions. I feel pretty queasy when I think about Caleb, last time wasn't the highlight of my day.

My outfit is pretty nice; not too shabby and not too fancy. It's just a simple t-shirt and skinny jeans with some old converse. I look down at my wrists and frown. They're still pretty visible and I'm not liking it at all and neither will anybody else. I change out of my shirt and look for a sweater, I seem to only have ones that reach to my elbows. I really need to shop again.
After 15 minutes of searching I finally find one and head back to the bathroom.

I had replaced the cute t-shirt with a gray sweater with some designs. The skinny jeans looked okay with it but the converse didn't, I grabbed out some flats. When I decided I looked okay I headed out to the door. I took a quick glance at the clock, shit. Already late on my day back I ran out heading to the campus. I gotta be faster. Can't afford to let the whole class stare at me when I go in.
My body finally agreed to my thoughts and ran faster than I thought I was capable of.

2 minutes later I got to the school and decided I'd walk the rest of the way there. The bell 'to get to your class' rang and I speed walked. Even though I wasn't running anymore my body couldn't calm down. My breathing wasn't even at all and my legs were feeling sore-- like someone stabbed me right then and there. I really need to get fit. I thought about it but knew I wasn't really going to start putting myself into being fit.

9:20 am
Turns out it's an early out with an assembly, so during 3rd & 4th period everyone will be in the gym. Psychology wasn't really all that bad. Learning about the mind and behavior about a human being was actually interesting. Considering most of what the teacher spoke about related to me I focused on it. But he was wrong, like really wrong, "teenagers usually lead to depression because they get self conscious." I'm pretty glad he's only a high school teacher only getting paid $8 an hour and not a psychologist-- he'd be the worst one ever. I don't think he even has a PhD degree. If only I had the nerves to raise my hand up and prove him wrong I would, it's the attention that I wouldn't want.

So far no one has been staring at me or saying anything. From what I've seen I'm assuming. Psychology passed by easily and I headed to my next class, L.A writing, with Caleb. Each step I took closer to the classroom the more butterflies multiplied in my stomach. Usually they give you a funny sweet feeling but this was the exact opposite. I felt them punching and squeezing the life out of my stomach, like it was now or never. Let me tell you--it wasn't pleasant at all.

I entered the class and looked over at my assigned seat, no Caleb. Relief washed over me and it felt like the butterflies are starting to die down. I went over and talked with the teacher and gave him my assignments and quickly sat down. I started the bell work that was on the board and focused on it. After a couple minutes, I felt really weird, like someone was staring. I kept on gazing at my now finished paper deciding to look up or not. I'm just a little paranoid. No ones looking at me I'm just going a little nuts.

I finally convince myself to look up and immediately regret it. At least 9 people are staring at me an whispering to each other, they've acknowledge that I know they're staring at me, but it doesn't stop them. If not it looks like I just made it worse, more people turned their backs from the teacher and looked at me. Please stop staring at me. I took a shower, brushed my hair, put on clean clothes what more do you want? I don't have money or anything worth. If I tell them to stop they'll just want to keep on looking.

And after every minute that passes by it seems more people watch me. I'm not even doing anything anymore, I put my pencil down and just looked at every person staring at me. I glanced over at the teachers desk and my hopes drown. Where the hell is the teacher when you need him? Class started anyways why would he leave? Screw this I need to report that. And I just imagine myself going to the office and filling out a report saying "teacher didn't come and save me from my situation"

I had pressed on my pencil too hard and the lead had broke. I thought if I got up an left they would focus on something else, but boy I was wrong. I walked to the pencil sharpener and when I was done I turned around to see a few standing. Everyone else seemed to be really focused on every action I would do, as if their lives depended on it. Sick of all the staring I decided to say something, "is there a problem?"
Silence. That's all that happened after I questioned my classmates-- some immediately stopped talking and looked back at their work.

Some of the guys that were standing wouldn't move to let me pass through. I looked up to the tallest one and smiled, "Could you please move to let me pass through?"
He and the four other guys just laughed. What was so funny?
I heard a door open and shut but I didn't look at who it was. The guys wouldn't budge so I decided yo squeeze through.

"How about you boys do me a favor and make room for Valerie to pass? Yeah?"
I stopped pushing once I recognized who's voice that was. Please, anyone but you.
I turned around slowly and my eyes met his and my stomach began to hurt again.
Caleb.