Craving Briskwood (Niall Horan & Louis Tomlinson Love Triangle)

Prologue

Prologue

Summer; it's what everyone has been waiting for. Feeling the extra sudden bursts of joy throughout the day. Followed up by staring outside the windows and watching the grass and trees dancing to the music of the wind.

Today was the day everybody has been waiting for. The last day of school.

My name is Dana Briskwood, and this is where my life begins.

The summer's heat has settled itself in which is the main reason why I'm accepting myself to wear shorts. I'd have to say my 'signature' look is consisting of a T-Shirt and jeans. Sometimes a hoodie in the chilly morning here in South Carolina.

Even though it is warm here, you can still see fake tan blondes. Apparently, their the definition of perfect. My opinion on society's definition of perfect is boring. Very, boring. People make the word "flaws" sound like a bad word. Physical flaws is what makes us even more interesting and interesting is beautiful. If you're different and interesting, that's one of the main things that makes you beautiful. Although, if it's personality flaws, that's different. If you're harassing other people for your own mental greed, then get the hell out of my presence. I'm not putting up with any bullshit anybody just "has" to say.

I mainly noticed this in my 4 years of high school, but even though we're practically adults, most of us still act like children. Picking fights with teachers, refusing to do work because of how you feel about it, and breaking the rules for your own selfish cravings. It's hard for me to think back to when was the last time I picked a fight with a teacher. Maybe in like, 6th or 7th grade. That's pretty much it. Just because you dislike the work doesn't mean you can take it out on the teachers.

People may say it's impressive if you lose your virginity before the age of eighteen; but I think differently. If you can hold onto your own purity and not give into the seduction of the devils desires, that's true strength right there. If you really, truly, think about it, it does make sense. Just think about the outcomes. STDs and pregnancy. I can sympathize where they are coming from. And if they've ever had sex it's probably like taking ecstasy. Don't do drugs.

I, Dana Briskwood, have kept as much purity as I could. I've felt the ecstasy of feeling as though I were in love. It's a rumored fact that if a "crush" lasts longer than 4 months it means you're in love. I guess I fall in love every time my heart clings to someone. Over the years I'd make a fool out of myself, feel so nervous and know that it's like there's a beat in my cheeks. All just for that drug like feeling. It just, does something to you…

I've never had a boyfriend, and I'm glad for that. It's another thing to check off out of the things that I'm still pure about. In my freshman year my love life escalated from being an ugly duckling to turning into someone stunningly beautiful. Yet, still not noticed by everybody. That's how I want it to be.

No, I'm not trying to pat myself on the back and trying to gush about how "hot & fit" I am. It seems like whenever a girl calls herself ugly or fat, everybody always says "Don't say that! You're beautiful!" But whenever a girl says that she believes she's beautiful, everybody thinks she's full of herself.

It's better than having horrible self-esteem. I am very thankful for this gift. Although, I do not strut of my body like I'm some peacock. Like I said before, I've only recently this season been allowing myself to wear shorts. It's not anything related to religion. It's mainly just me trying to go outside of my comfort zone. The professionals always say that's it's really good for you to go outside of your comfort zone.

I'd be lying if I said guys haven't flirted with me before; because they have. Some were obnoxious and some were just kinda fun in a joking-around kind of way. 

I've spent a couple years in high school suffering from pretty strong social anxiety. It mainly appeared out of no where in my freshman year. That year I'd have to say was the year where things have changed the most. Including me, but for my own benefit.

With my anxiety issues, it's hard for me to cope with change. That's why it was so hard for me to cope with me transitioning to my first year in high school. People have told me people will change, including myself. They were correct, and I was not prepared for it.

For most of my freshman year I was failing all of my classes. With pure honesty, it was torture. It was the most pain I went through compared to any other year I've lived. Something unexpected happened. Something inside me just, changed. One of my personality characteristics is extreme sensitivity, although over the months I felt myself growing rapidly stronger. With each and every beating life would give me I began to be able to take it. Not take it in and let it destroy me. Somehow, it began to strengthen me. I changed from feeling miserable all the time to either feeling alright or wonderful. And I loved it so much.

All my life I can safely say I've been labeled as the weakling. Maybe that was just me but it was true inside my head. That was literally one of the only things I loved about freshman year; how much stronger I've become.

As my mindset began to change, I realized what true strength was. True strength isn't who can lose their virginity first and given to who's name. It's not about who can get involved in a fight and win. It's not about how fit you are or how much supernatural intelligence.

It's almost the exact opposite.

I find true strength - especially in men considering how hormonal they are - is if they can save themselves for their true sole mate. It's a major honor that no one really finds impressive other than myself. I'm sure there are plenty of people who feel the same way.

When it comes to fights, true strength is being the one who can stop it before it's even started. Trying to ignore someone who is picking for a fight is like trying to not scratch the most irritating itch. It takes two people to start a fight and it's also quite amusing seeing the offender suffering in their own creation of worthless anger.

True strength is also realizing how truly beautiful you are. It's no joke or some stupid stereotypical saying like, "Accept who you are and don't listen to others." To me, it makes much more sense than to others. Feeling insecure is perfectly normal but my second thoughts are always of, "It doesn't matter and if anybody can't accept me for who I am, and if they can't then they can write their well thought out opinions about me on a piece of paper, and shove it up their ass."

Best quote ever, in my opinion.

Most of my life I've hated how different I was compared to everybody. I'd even get judged for it which only made me feel worse about myself. But once I got into high school, my perspective changed.

I'm not sure how high school works to make everyone change so much. Maybe it's just what happens over the summer or the challenges everyone faces whether it's social or school related issues. You learn so much over the years. Some of us learn faster than others but eventually you rise to the surface of reality. We all hope that reality hits you in the beginning.