The Journey of Finding Ourselves

I Want It All

They spent more hours playing, and enjoying each other's company; each trying to avoid the fact that departure time wasn't far away

"Do y'all want to watch a movie?" Liv offered she knew they were going to be devastated when they have to leave each other

"That's sounds great, Liv." El said hopeful

All the kids agreed also. It was hard trying to find a movie that everyone agreed on.

"Yes! Finally! 'Up' it is." Lizzie said

Lizzie cuddled up against Liv while Elliot sat on the other side of Liv. Of course Dickie was right beside his daddy, and Maureen & Kathleen followed. Eli being shared by the girls.

Liv made everyone popcorn & drinks trying to make them as comfortable and happy as can be. She knew what was to come.

8:00 p.m

Elliot's phone rang.

He left the couch to go in the kitchen and grab it

"Hello." He practically whispered

"When are you bringing them?" Kathy said

"I'll be there soon."

With that, he hung up. Frustration already building up.

"Okay kids, it's getting late. You're mom is waiting and the movie has ended." El said grabbing the cover off of everybody

Olivia saw how distressed he look. She saw it in his eyes.

The kids all moved in slow motion getting their things together. They didn't want to leave.

El just stared at them from their doorway

Liv came up from behind him rubbing smoothly on his back.
"It'll be okay Elliot."

He shook his head turning around facing her. "I just can't do this. Their my life Liv."

They walked away from the doorway so the kids wouldn't hear them talking.

"We're gonna work something out. We just need time." She continued rubbing his back

They all came out with their bags. You could clearly see they were disappointed.

He just went up and hugged all 5 of them
"I love y'all so much." He said giving them each a kiss on the forehead.

Liv led them out the door

"What are you doing?" El said

"I'm gonna let y'all go alone." She said standing at the door, them outside.

"Liv you're apart of us. You're our family too."

"I know." Liv smiled assuring El that, that was not why she wasn't coming. "Y'all need this time alone. Go El."

El nodded and kissed her
"Thank you for everything Liv."

They hugged

"I'm here for you. Always." Liv said

20 Minutes Later

Liv was cleaning up from the kid's stay. She was like a house mom.
She was thankful to captain for giving them the days off that they need but she knew they would have to go back soon.

30 Minutes Later

El came in. He looked exhausted.

"How'd it go?" Liv just straight out and asked

"Horrible." He said walking towards the bedroom

Liv shut everything off & locked up. She went into the bedroom to find him laying on his stomach with his head in his arms. She climbed into bed going directly to him. She rubbed his back once again.
"El, you can't be so down. You're gonna stress yourself out. I know this is hard, but we gotta get through this. And don't start the keeping things bottled up inside of you. Talk to me."

He turned on his back silent tears pouring down his face.

Liv used her thumbs wiping them each as they came. She caressed his face kissing him on the lips.
"Don't cry El." She hated to see him like this. This broke her.

Sleep later consumed both of them. El laying against Liv's chest. Bear hugging her as they slept.

*The Next Morning*

Olivia was laying in bed rubbing Elliot's back while he was still asleep. He loved that. A few minutes later she decided to get a shower and get clothes for the day.
She walked over to her night stand and grabbed her phone, walking out of the room.

It only took two rings before captain picked up

"Cap."

"Hey Liv." He said sounding happy to hear from her

"How are you?" Liv asked

"Okay. We miss you two. Very much."

Liv's face scrunched up
"I miss you too, captain!" She squealed
"I was calling about coming back. I know it's been a few days."

"Yeah. I'm needing y'all back. When can you come?"

"Well I'm ready. El.. I don't know yet." She honestly didn't know

"How's everything with him?" Don asked

"Well, you know how El loves his kids. So with them not being in the same house anymore is very new to Elliot & they're just all not handling that well." Olivia said
"Is there anyway to give him a little more few days off?" Liv asked

"I don't know Liv. It's been like a week now. All this time off is going to have to go beyond me. I wish I could though." Don said

"Yeah. Well I'm ready. ..I'll talk to El."

"Do that Liv. Give me a call back. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yes, Morning." Liv said smiling finalized

They hung up.

Elliot walked in
"Who were you talking to?" He asked

"Oh I was talking to Cap." Liv said turning around, a little startled.

"What about?" El asked

"I'll be returning to work tomorrow." Liv said

"Oh." El said turning around walking away into the living room

Liv already knew.
She followed him.
"El I have to go back at some time. It's been a lot of days off now.

"Yeah, I need you here Olivia. I see you put your job before anything though." El said continuing to look at the now turned on tv screen

"You son of a bitch. You know that's not true." Liv said going to him

"I can't keep, looking over my shoulder making sure I'm okay 'cause I'm depending on you." El said a little louder

Olivia walked out the room.

He knew he was being selfish to Olivia and the one she loved the most. He just wanted her by his side 24/7.

*Later*

El stood in their bedroom doorway
"I'm ordering take-out. What do you want?" He said searching for Liv's eyes

"The usual." She replied smug, not even looking up at him

El knew she was still upset. He turned and went back into the kitchen/living room area. He set the table for the two with candles, Liv's favorite, trying to lighten up the mood.