Dancing on Eggshells

Prologue

I don't know why the hell I'm writing this book. I never thought that my first book would be about my life. My life has always been dysfunctional but not so dysfunctional that my family and I have gotten our own terrible reality show like Honey Boo Boo.
My Bobba should get her own reality show, it'd be so terrible that the producers would convert it into a sitcom.
Ugh, family and people. Let's not start with them. How's about a little introduction from your protagonist , huh?
So, welcome to my book. I know it doesn't have diamonds and glitter all over it but I'm not that sort of person, the sparkling stuff would drive me insane.
Let's get things straight, this is not a journal, it's a journey into my confusing mind.
You'll be my reader, and I don't really know if you'll be good at it or not.
In case you don't how to to be a good reader, then just remember this one tip:
Listen to me all the time you're reading, don't draw on my pages and don't ever get on any of my enemies' side (I don't have human enemies, only Gollom, my next door neighbor, Wendy Levin's cat who tried to attack me when I was 11 and is still not on my side. All I'm going to say about Wendy is that she is thirty-four years old, been living next to us for three years , has schizophrenia and has been institutionalized twice since she's been living here. The examples will stay silent for now).
Okay, that's more than one rule, but they're still important.

Next step of this introduction:

Learn all about me

I'm not a very organized person but I'm a fan of application, but that won't be necessary today.
Why?
Because I'm going lay it out for you.

Step one
Firstly, my name is Keoria Emma Atkins (I'd be happy to use Emma but my parents say my name is very special and I should be proud of it).
My name is not special, not one bit.
You know that 'i' in my name, that's silent, my parents felt my name was too absent without the 'i' so it's basically there for decoration.
The way I got the name Keoria: Starbucks.
Damn Starbucks got me the name.

My Mom's name is Keira Atkins.
About 14 years ago, a pregnant Keira Atkins and my dad (Holden Atkins ) walked into Starbucks.
My mom ordered under her name.
"K-E-I-R-A". She spelt for the cashier as she had a strong Southern accent at the time.
So my parents waited for their order, for longer than expected. Dad finally went to the cashier and asked what the hell was going on. He then had a quick chat with one of the other ladies , who said it was right there.
The reason my parents hadn't figured this out : the cashier had heard the name "Keoria" instead of "Keira".
Mom thought of the name as she ate the muffin she had ordered and then said to my Dad all dramatically:
"This is a sign, Holden".
Then Dad smiled.
This how my mom told me the story when I was five (and then five billion times more because I did and always have loved stories). Part of me thinks it wasn't exactly like that and Dad actually told her what a ridiculous name it was as a coffee shop had given the sign.
But it happened, it's on my birth certificate.
So that's how I got my name.

Step two
Important things
Date of Birth: 1/06/01.
Height: 5ft
Appearance : My body is too small for my huge boobs.
Other complaints: My body is two small for my curves, my stomach is weird (it just is, okay), my skin is an olive tone and I wish it would be lighter, my eyes are brown but they're useless because I wear glasses all the time , my eyebrows are too bushy, there are too many pimples on my face (I later learnt there were only five and they were not noticeable). Boys don't ask me out but they ask other girls out which I don't understand because I feel like I have a strong personality and would be a good person to make-out with (mostly because I want to kiss a boy so badly that it is literally on my goal list).
I'm bad at sports no matter how hard I try, I once tried out for the Hurdle Team and I ran into the hurdle (everyone who tried out was accepted except for me, because I ran into a hurdle).
I'm quite a good jogger, though. My mom says I should try out for the track team but I think that sounds suicidal. I have no interest in running around the track like a bunny after school with a bunch of whiny losers who think what they're doing will actually help them in their future, miserable lives.
I'm going off-topic now, to the next topic!